Snowblind (Intersex gxg)

Chapter 8

"Irisha, I have them, but I'm not sure that matters right now," I said. "Let me finish the story, okay? I haven't done anything with anyone in a long time, and I don't want to go back to how I was."

               "What do you mean?" she asked. "Jordan, there is nothing wrong with your past. Anyone who would hold it against you has no idea of who you really are or what you've been through."

               I smiled softly at that, but it was hard to wrap my head around. "I've pretty much never had a real relationship. The first girl I was with on my channel was Sylvia. We got along well, and the channel liked her better than me going solo." Irisha snorted as though she would disagree with that, but I didn't stop talking. "I liked her. She was fun, though I guess she needed money to keep going to college because she cleaned me out. I was just starting to get big, and she took it all. But it taught me a lesson about money, and now nobody can touch it except my money manager, and he's never even met me. I keep it all separate."

               "I remember her," Irisha mentioned. "No offense, but she was not the one for you. Just watching the videos, you can tell she was there in body only, her mind was elsewhere."

               "Have you seen all of my videos?"

               "Yep. Tegan was a bitch too. I can't believe she left you to make her own channel, because it wasn't good at all." I had no idea what was going to happen between me and Irisha, but at a minimum she was great for my ego. "The people she had on that channel were like robots. I'm so glad I never paid for it."

               I had a sudden thought about that. "You used to pay for mine?"

               She blushed once more, then smirked. "I still do. Do you have any idea how big you are there?"

               I just shook my head. "Honestly, I only log on a couple times a year just to make sure that the account remains active, but I never checked anything because I was a little afraid to. I assumed people would be pissed that I left."

               "We're mostly worried. You probably lost some subscribers who wanted new content, but a lot of us never left, and a lot more have come on to just watch the stuff in the archives because it is so good. The women you were with may have sucked, but you were a damn star. You were gold, and I still can't believe that you're the one that pulled me out of the snowdrift."

               "What about Cody?" She was the last of my partners, and we'd done videos together for almost 18 months. I really liked her most of the time, though after maybe the first six months she kept saying we should do porn, and not just Only Fans. I never let it affect the work, but it made me a lot more cautious about our relationship. Not that it mattered once she was killed though.

               Irisha gave me a little shrug. "She was better than the other two, but it still felt a little off. I don't think you've ever been with someone who cared for you as much as you cared for them. Trust me, most people watching the videos were there for you, and how amazing you were, not the partners. Honestly, Cody's just riding your coattails now with her new channel, and it isn't as good."

               That was an odd thing to say, and I felt myself frowning, ready to protest the statement, but then maybe there was something I was missing. "What new channel? She died three years ago, that was why I left!"

               She sat up straight, looking at me with her brows furrowed. "You left almost three years ago, and she left too, but she started a new channel about six months ago. She even put comments on all the videos she was in with you promoting it and saying that it was all your idea. But she's with different guys every night, and it's just straight, boring sex. She got a few people following, mostly because everyone thought you might be there with her, but it petered out."