THE DAY I WOKE UP

wishing it was a dream

"hi sis!! its been a long time hasnt it?"

Wait wat??? Sis??? I just cudnt comprehend any of wat she was saying.....she continued...

"So ya u and i r twins I saved this but for later but wat do u pissed me off soo bad i had to tell u now...but don't worry u r not match for me so just clear off from here before I call the cops "

My blood boiled at her words but at the same time I cudnt beleive I had a twin sister....since I was a small kid I wished I had a twin I did have Regina but she was younger than me and i cudnt share all of my probs with her but I longed for someone my age to understand my feelings that's were Lisa came in. 

I saw her as a twin who was born from a different mother. Now that Lisa no longer wants to be a part of my life and that I learn I have a real twin though I don't know how it's still hard to comprehend and diget all of this. 

I wanted it to be a lie that samantha was making up i desperately wanted it to be a lie because I can never have such an awful twin. 

"Its--it--its a lie isn't it? U--u an--and me-eee....NO U CAN NEVER BE MY TWIN UR LIEING!!!!!"

"oh poor girl u don't believe me do u but wat to do the sad truth is u have a competitive and successful person for ur sister while u urself is nothing but garbage believe me I despise being ur sister more than you"

I just wanted it to be the worst nightmare and wake up in my bed with Julian next to me and realise it was all a dream...but sadly I knew deep down it was all the truth. I ran away from there Julian followed me yelling my name but I only stopped when I reached the hospital veranda. I dropped onto a bench there as Julian finnaly came to where I was sitting.

JULIAN'S PERSPECTIVE:

I can't beleive this awful mean witch is her sister. I thought she was lying but the fact that they look exactly like eachother confirmed that it was the truth. A moment ago gina challenged that witch confidently but as soon as she said sister Gina's face changed.

I knew she was in therapy for all these months and only now did she get better and finnally out of PTSD but when I saw her face it reminded me of the Georgina from nine months back broken to peices without any soul in her eyes......when she wasn't there when I came I knew something was wrong right away cuz I know her and as I expected I almost lost her. 

She was in so much pain and i cud see she wanted to end all of it but without her I have no meaning in life I don't have anything to live for without her... And there's Cassy it wud break me to peices to see her witness her mother's death at such a young age.....I thought I didn't catch her but when I saw I did her face alone was enough to give me the strength to hold onto her even if she pushed me away.

Now gina when facing her twin I can see the same miserable gina i cudnt let her go on her own I know she wudnt try to do it again but still she needs me even if she pushed me away I am gonna be there for her no matter wat. I followed her to the veranda Maria followed me but I signalled her that I will take care of this. She headed back in.

I saw gina sitting on a bench i finally got there. I sat next to her she looked at me and started crying again. Just seeing her cry felt so heart clenching for me. As she cried I was crying too but on the inside cuz I want to be strong for her so she has a shoulder to cry on.

"Julian why do u still like me?? Huh??*sniffle* Why does Maria or haley still wanna be frnds with me??? All I ever did to u guys was*sob* hurting u people they both took care of Cassy most time cuz I was too busy to take care of my own daughter *sob*I am an awful person and that's why Lisa left me and now when I see that my own twin sister --*sobs*--hates without even getting to know me it --it--it feels too bad to even express it in words Julian......"

She broke down into another set of sobs while all i cud do was hold her and show my comfort. I felt soo guilty that she was having so much pain but I cudnt do anything abt it. 

"Gina...look at me"

I lifted her chin facing me and continued.

"gina you know why i still like you? you know why maria and haley still like you? its cause you are an wonderful person. who told you hurt us?   its our duty as people who love you to take care of you when you are at your worst. so gina  feel free to trouble us cause we are always there for you especially me. i would die to see you happy gina. maria and haley they both think anything is worth having you smile and happy and so do i and about lisa she will come around i am sure she will after all you were inseperable once i am sure she understood and she forgave you but due to this unfortunate accident.....weelll...she forgot you but i am damn sure  you can win her back"

she looked at me with her brown almond eyes as i talked. those beautiful eyes which was full of happiness and cheerful once now looked sad and hopeless. i dont think she was convinced yet.

"bu-t--bu-t what about samantha? *sob*she didnt even get to know me but already hates me like i can see it in her eyes of how much hatred she has for me *sob* why??*sniffle* why julian? why does she hate me? *sob* i have always wanted to have a older sister or a twin but now that i have one why does she hate me?WHY??WHY JULIAN??? ISNT IT BECAUSE I AM AN AWEFUL PERSON??IT SHOWS I AM AN AWEFULL PERSON!! and lisa she---*sob* i dont think it will ever be the same between us after this"

as she said this i could see that no matter wat a person did to her or hurt her she would never wholeheartedly hate or let alone hurt them. at times i feel like i dont deserve such an innocent and lovely wonderful person in my life for the things i have done till now. if she knows what i did then i would never be able to convince her but i do it for her safety. she is soo  innocent she just wants to keep everyone happy even if it cost her her own happiness but i want her to be selfish now cause i had seen enough of her selflessness for years and it did her no good.

i just want her to be selfish for once and thats why i did that nine months back thats why i told lisa about it. the peice of truth that she tried to hide from lisa for years kept pricking her like a thorn i just wanted to pull out the thorn and i thought lisa would understand but i guess my judgment went wrong.

i cupped her cheek and said "gina you are the most wonderful person i have ever met. you can never be replaced. i am sure lisa knows it too no matter which evil perfect clone of yours tries to replace you, you can never be replaced i am sure you can win back lisa. you did it once before so why not again? and about that samantha if she hates you its her loss not yours. she just doesnt know that she as such a wonderful sister. if there are people who admire you there are people who envy and hate you too but you should focus on people who love you."

with that i stopped talking and kissed her gently on the lips to show her my assurance. she hugged me back and we sat that way for almost 15 minutes.