Shorter days, Longer nights

Chapter 42 || I woke up

"Did it get lonely?" she asked, her eyes set on me, "while he was away?" 

"Yes," I stared toward the sky. My mind went back to all those nights I spent on the balcony, getting lost in the stars, wondering if Mum and Dad were watching, wondering what they were thinking, whether or not I was making them proud. 

I saw her nod through my peripheral view, her hands squeezing mine as her thumb gently stroked my wrist. Silence gripped the atmosphere once more, casting a comforting breath. I gazed toward the warmth enveloping my hand, relaxing the weight in my arm as I completely gave into her touch. 

"There's so many stars tonight," she said as I watched her face tilt up toward the sky, giving me a good view of her jawline. "Do you want to know how I turned?"

"If you're okay with that," I repeated offering a subtle smile.

She chuckled lightly before starting, "Well uh, I was in college," her head tilted from side to side as if in thought,  "about five years ago." she paused momentarily and I watched as her eyes dimmed a little, her tone getting lighter, "There was talk about this annual carnival and my little sister, Cally, she really wanted to go."

"I wasn't much into that stuff but Cally was... persistent," a warm smile traced her lips yet I noticed how rapidly she'd begun to swallow, "She somehow managed to convince me and we met up with a couple of other friends there. At first, it was going really well. She destroyed me in every single one of those games. Only thirty minutes in and she had a whole march of prizes. I could tell she was getting tired but that light in her never dimmed and so we kept going." 

I felt her grip loosen on my hand, her body slouching in a way I'd never seen before, "Eventually, once she'd tried everything in there, she wanted to go on the big famous Ferris wheel," her voice got lighter with every word she spoke, a cold expression taking over her face as she stared into nothingness. "She wanted to see the stars from the top," I glanced a look into the sky before returning to her, an anxious feeling building in my chest, as if radiating off her. 

"But when we did get there, the wheel just... stopped. We laughed on as if it was nothing, making jokes about the situation. And then..." My eyes widened, my body going still noticing the droplet breaking away from her eye, streaming down her cheek followed by a twitch in her lip, "There was a loud thud. We felt something shift under us. Every second was like an eternity and I felt it, I felt it get closer, and then it went... quiet," I let her words sink into me, feeling a shatter in my heart at the words. But before I could do anything, her fingers quickly wiped away the teardrop.    

She sniffed before continuing, "I saw it... the fear in her face. She was scared. She was so scared. I tried to comfort her, to reassure her but I guess that can only get you so far when you know it's not true." Her voice was barely above a whisper now. I felt the lingering pain of that night etched in her voice. 

"The Maywood incident," I muttered, remembering the images in the newspaper a few years back. 

She nodded, her eyes dropped as she paused for a few minutes. It broke my heart just watching her, I couldn't even imagine what it felt like for her. I scooted closer to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. I pulled her gently into my side and I felt her lean closer even though she didn't completely give in. 

"All of us fell. Difference is, I woke up. They didn't. I woke up on the same couch as you," she finally gazed toward me, her eyes bore into mine, inches away. "I hated Anna for turning me but not them. I hated myself for making it through when they didn't. I belonged with them," her voice cracked at the words, tearing me apart with her. I wanted desperately to tell her that she didn't, to comfort her but I had to let her continue. "They were too far gone when Anna found them. I was the only one that woke up," her gaze lowered, as the moment became silent again.