Red Owl Vs Blue Raven

Chapter fifteen

Sarge: How will we know when you're done?

Washington: When you see every guard in the base running in one direction? That means we're probably in trouble.

Church: All the guards? Whu- yuh- wait, wh-why are we taking Church, again?

Washington: Just keep the guards off of us, and we'll radio when we're in position. This will be our extraction point.

Grif: Keep them off you?

Washington: Yeah.

Church: Distract them, dipshit.

Grif: How?

Washington: Well, this is the center that came up with all the ridiculous scenarios you guys have suffered through over the years. So have fun. Break some shit.

Hunter then see a machine gun next to them. He walks over and picks it up. Surprised that it was super light.

Hunter: Oh fuck yeah.

Sarge: Nice gun Hunter.

Cut to Washington walking Church up to a checkpoint with two guards in front of a door

Guard 1: Hold on, don't come any closer. I need you to stay right there, sir.

Washington: Understood. I need access to the next level. The Counselor wants to interrogate another survivor from Outpost 17-B.

Guard 1: What? I thought all the Blues at Valhalla were dead. Where'd this one come from?

Washington: I don't have to explain anything to you, soldier. Stand down.

Guard 1: Sorry sir, I didn't mean anything by that-

Washington: That's fine. I'll let it go. As you were.

Guard 1: Something doesn't seem right to me. I'm gonna have to call this in.

Washington: Absolutely. Call it in. Let me just- NOW!

Washington drops one guard, and Church drops to a knee and empties his entire clip at the other guard at point blank range; the guard is still standing, unscathed

Church: Uh, hey can I get a little help? I'm... out of bullets.

Washington shoots the other guard in the face.

Church: Thanks.

Cut back to the Reds, South, Luz and Caboose

Simmons: This patrol was seventeen seconds late. Who's runnin' this place? How inefficient. Sloppy...

South: That's command alright, bunch'a dumbasses.

Sarge: I'm bored outta my gourd.

Grif: So what? Bored is good. Bored means we're not dying. Boredom I can deal with. I have years of practice.

Hunter: I dabbled in dealing with boredom.

Caboose: Yes! Grif talked, I won, I won the who-can-be-the-quietest game again!

Luz: Good job Caboose!

Grif: Yeah, good job. That's ten in a row for you Caboose. Hey, you know what? We should play again. Best eleven out of twenty-one.

Caboose: Yes. You are all going down.

Simmons: Heh. We should try holding our breath next.

Amity: That's both fun and stupid.

Sarge: Well, that's it. I can't stand just sittin' around. I'm goin' mad with anticipation.

Simmons: We've only been here twelve minutes.

Sarge: Are you sure? My mission clock says three days.

Amity: Oh stop being dramatic.

Simmons: (sigh) That's because you wouldn't synchronize at the start of the mission, remember? I said we should synchronize, and you said "Why would we synchronize? It's like we're in the future, seeing what the enemy does before they do it. Why would we give up the advantage?"

South: Wow, you're all idiots.

Hunter: Tell me about it.

South: You're one too.

Hunter: Hey! Who's the one that stole a Hornet? What have you done that has been that badass?

South: Well not much because of the whole getting used to a new leg!

Sarge: Come on, Simmons, who could possibly remember an annoying conversation we had three whole days ago?

Simmons: Twelve minutes ago.

Sarge: Grif, what's your clock say?

Grif: Um, actually mine's a countdown to the next episode of Battlestar Galactica. Priorities dude.

Amity: When is that new episode coming out? I really need to know what happens next!

Caboose: Ah- ah- I just won again! Man, you guys are really bad at this game! It's- it's like you're not even playing at all!

Luz: Well your on a winning streak right now Caboose.

Cut to Wash and Church in a large room with holographic symbols shimmering on the walls

Washington: Here. This is it.

Church: Whoa. What is this place?

Washington: It's the storage facility for all the A.I.s. The rejects, the bad variants... everything is here. Everything.

Church: Dear lord, what're all these lights on the walls?

Washington: It's holographic storage.

Church: And one of these things is Alpha?

Washington: You work on closing that door. I'll find what we're looking for. And when I do, every soldier on base is sure to come running. So be ready.

Wash approaches one of the walls

Whispy voice: Washington... Washington... You suck...

Time passes

Washington: Church I got it, get over here. Here, this is it. There.

Church: Oh, great you found it already?

A loud reverberating boom comes from the wall panel

Church: Ah!

Washington: What's wrong?

Church: Nothing I just had like a weird flash- uh, ah!

Washington: Are you alright?

Church: Yeah, I think it's this thing. It's like, sending out images. Is this the Alpha?

Washington: No. This is not the Alpha.

Church: No? Then what is it?

Washington: This is Epsilon. ...This is my A.I.