Red Owl Vs Blue Raven

Sibling Arrivalries

Fade in to the ship from above

Vic's Voice Mail: To hear these options in Spanish, press dos.

Church: I HATE YOU.

Vic's Voice Mail: *beep*

Church: Vic, it's Church, I need to-

Vic's Voice Mail: I'm sorry, but this person's voice mailbox is full.

Church: Uhhmmm I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself.

Willow: Wait your already dead. How could you kill yourself.

Church: I'll find away.

Doc: Uh, what was all that about?

Church: Doc, we are royally screwed. Half our team is down, and I think th-

Doc: No it's not, look! Caboose is already back in action.

Cut to Caboose emerging from Blue Base in the distance

Caboose: I'm okay! I'm okay!

Caboose collapses again, but this time in the warmth of the sun

Caboose: I'm not okay!

Doc: He's fine.

Church: Like I was saying, half the team is down, and the half that's left, sucks. V the only member who can do anything here but she babysitting. So all the Reds need to do is attack us, and we're dead.

Cut to V and Tucker with them naming Amity's kid.

V: And THAT'S how you write your name in buckshot. Now you try V.Jr Valentine.

Valentine: Okay auntie V!

Starts firing her name with a gun.

V: (Sniff. Wipe a tear from her screen) They grow up so fast.

Tucker: They really do. Hey V.Jr want to make cookies and get some soda. Then watch Kill Bill: Volume 1.

V.Jr: Yeah! Your the best uncle and auntie ever of all time!

Cut back to Church.

Baby Alien: Hnnk!

Church: Oh right, and I have to kill this fucking thing. Then the other one.

Caboose: Also I see a big ship. Now I know I'm hallucinating!

Church: Oh, I forgot that part! The Reds also have an enormous ship that was sent by their Command. Probably has a huge fucking weapon on it. Like a nuke, or a biological weapon that's gonna melt our skin, or a genetic weapon that's gonna make everyone in blue armour sterile... awesome.

Doc: Hmm. Maybe this isn't the best time to remind you that technically I'm neutral in this conflict.

Willow: Yeah same here

Church: Doc, Willow I don't think the situation could get much worse. I mean the ship is bad enough, but God knows what kind of reinforcements they have in that thing. Could be a whole new squad! Or a freelancer! Or-

Cut to the Reds mid-sentence, standing in front of a new person in yellow armour

Simmons: Grif's sister?

Grif's Sister: Yeah. Isn't that cool? Wait Hunter!?

Sarge: You know I always knew there was a genetic possibility that Grif would have blood relatives. But I always held on to the hope that he was the horrible by-product of an experiment in a turd manufacturing plant! Wait how do you know Hunter?

Sister: He's my asshole ex boyfriend!

Hunter: I'm the asshole!? No I think your confused your the asshole! You fucking bitch!