A B U S E (re-write)

Patro

Hello my loves! I am back with another chapter for you all! Let me know your thoughts in the comments!! I'm sorry for the short chapter but I missed y'all and wanted to give you all an update! This chapter is also not proofread so I apologize for any mistakes and will go back and fix them later! Enjoy!! Mwah!!

Fear...

That's all he felt in this moment.

Everything he tried so hard to ignore came flooding back into his brain like a river, splashing against the crevices of his mind. Attacking him in the form a small army formed out of black matter, smoke clouds that refused to disperse. He felt so small in this moment

So so small

He wanted nothing more than to crawl into Larry's arms but he couldn't will himself to move from the comfort of that corner, replaying the scene in his head repeatedly he watched himself reenact his movements. His body didn't feel like his own, he watched himself from across the room bolt up into a sitting up position, belting out a loud "No". Despair lingered in his voice, fear creeping out of his throat like a spider. Flinching away from Larry screaming at him not to touch him before running over to that infamous corner where he remained for what felt like hours. Larry's confused face stared back at him, confusion and concern swirled around his irises like a storm forming. Running a hand through his hair slowly, removing himself from the bed at the speed of a turtle.

No sudden movements

He remembered what Melody told him durning one of Lau's sessions, Lau excused himself to bathroom to vomit after experiencing too much of his past. Just hearing Jaden's name could instantly put him on edge and Larry hated the effect Jaden still had on Lau. He was dead

Yet still present in his mind

———

Melody leaned forward gently reaching for Larry's hands who gladly gave them to her, she'd been helping them both through this process. She helped Lau through his trauma and helped Larry by shaping him into the partner Lau needed. "Larry, I know it's hard but give him some time okay? He's experiencing what is know as PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I'm not saying walk on eggshells around him but in situations like this, we have to be very careful on what we say and how we say it. Anything can trigger him if it reminds him of Jaden, you need to work with him to figure out said triggers and help him get strong enough to where it won't trigger him as strongly. When it comes down to PTSD you can limit the effect of the triggers but some don't go away for good. If he has a flashback do not immediately approach him, call out to him first, try to ground by asking him where he is, what he sees, ask him if he recognizes the room you both are in, give him little objects to focus on to bring him out of it. For example: I'm Lau having a flashback that's triggered me, we're in the kitchen, how are you going to help ground and being me back?"

Larry thought for a moment before focusing and getting in the zone, he was determined to help his love at all costs. He gently cleared his throat speaking softly "Lau? Bebè?" Pausing for a moment in case all it took was one time before trying again "bebè, it's me, you oki. I'm here, your Larry is here". He paused again keeping his tone soft and warm "can you tell me where you are bebè? Who you see?" He spaced out the two questions not wanting to overwhelm Lau, he acted as if Lau was in front of him studying his body language before proceeding "you not there anymore bebè... you in us kitchen... can you join me in the kitchen bebè?" He paused again waiting a few moments smiling when Melody nodded in approval "that's very good Larry, keep going". He nodded moving on to the second tip she gave him, "bebè?...Can you feel the marble of the island?...  It's white with gold and silver specs of glitter... can you remember it?" Taking a moment to pause, "can you see your favorite chair by the window?... it's a dark green with a fluffy blanket laid over it... the blanket is a deep lavender, I got it for you the day I took you to get a massage... can you feel it in your hands?" Melody nodded once again in approval, very pleased with how quick Larry caught on. "Very good Larry, that's very good. Now remember no sudden movements you might cause him to run from you and we don't want that. If there's a time where you can't ground him by using these tactics then try singing to him. He's mentioned how he loves your voice when you sing. Start off soft and if you notice him calming down and coming back gradually get louder so he knows you're actually there and that he's home and safe."

Larry nodded leaning back into his chair as Lau walked back in with red puffy eyes, they made eye contact causing Lau to immediately climb into his lap hurrying his face into Larry's neck. He soothed him gently rubbing his back whispering praises into his ear as Melody wrapped up their session for today. He was thankful for her, Lau definitely needed her and he was beginning to realize

That he did too

When they left Larry carried Lau to the car not really caring how ridiculous he looked carrying a grown man

His baby needed him and he was going to be there

Once in the car he let Lau cling to him, singing softly into his ear instead of turning on the radio. He gave him his full undivided attention, nothing else mattered but Lau right now.

———

Lau watched from the doorway of the bedroom, watched as Larry sat at the edge of the bed making sure he didn't move too quickly or get too close.

Larry gazed at him with love replacing the concerned, confused storm in his eyes. "Lau? Bebè?" He spoke softly to him never removing his eyes from him. "It's me bebè, it's your Larry" he watched himself as his head lifted slowly, though he was still not there all the way. Larry continued being extra cautious not to say the wrong things, "you at home with me babè, can you feel the carpet underneath you?... it's dark gray. You picked out the color when I took you to the store to help me pick..." Larry paused for a moment, him and Lau watched as he dug his fingers into the carpet caressing it as if he was trying to remember.

Okay, progress

Larry nodded in approval before continuing "can you see the chair across from you? It's wine colored and has your favorite blanket draped across it. It's black and extra fluffy, I got it for you when you got sick that time..." he gave Lau a break allowing him to try and visualize everything he said to him, smiling when saw Lau glance over at the chair and said blanket. He continued knowing that Lau could do it, his brother was a fighter

The strongest person he knew

Larry gave it a few more moments before his eyes landed on something he knew would help reel Lau in completely: the teddy bear that sat behind him on the bed. He'd bought it for Lau when he first noticed the nightmares, he wanted Lau to have something he could cling on to when he himself was not present. He'd spray the bear with his cologne so Lau would feel like he had a piece of Larry, Lau even named it

Patro

He smiled to himself gazing at Lau silently encouraging him: you can do it bebè. "Can you see the bear behind me bebè? Can you smell the scent on him?" He paused for a moment giving Lau another break before continuing "it's light brown with white around the eyes and nose, he has a nose that's shaped like the letter A". He watched Lau glance up mumbling something although he heard him clear as day "P-Patro" Larry nodded his head proudly "yes babè it's Patro, what does he smell like?" Lau went quiet for a moment he could see everything Larry described, remembering the memories behind each item bringing him closer to home. He sniffed feeling the smell of Larry's cologne fill his lungs, that's all he needed to fully bring him back "it s-smells like Larry, my Larry that's in front of me now". Larry nodded once again in approval smiling wider "that's right bebè it smells like me, your Larry that's right here to hold you when you ready".

He watched himself quickly rise to his feet rushing into Larry's arms sobbing into his neck as Larry whispered praises into his ear. His hands rubbing his back to calm him before he was pulled back into his body once again. He could feel himself calming down in real time clinging onto Larry for dear life which Larry didn't mind one bit. It wouldn't be easy but Larry had this somewhat under control, what Melody couldn't do she gave him the tips to do. He knew they'd face obstacles along this journey but he was ready. He'd do it for Lau

He'd do anything for him