A B U S E (re-write)

Melody

Trying a different writing style this chapter

We've been through this such a long long time, Just tryin' to kill the pain, ooh yeah Love is always coming, love is always going, No one's really sure who's lettin' go today... Walking away

It seemed like all it did was rain... the drops crashing against the window matched the sinking feeling in Lau's heart. One half was terrified of Jaden coming back to follow through on his promise and the other half was terrified he'd let his feelings slip and Larry would be disgusted with him. This internal turmoil he faced went undetected by everyone around him, well everyone but Larry. He wouldn't push his other half but he wasn't going to let him suffer in silence either: Never alone, today was their first therapy session and he could tell Lau was extremely nervous his entire body was shaking. His nerves were shot.

He glanced at him through the mirror watching silently as Lau applied oil to his twists then his infamous necklace around his neck. He looked absolutely breathtaking, Larry studied his side profile multitasking with getting ready himself trying to distract himself by adjusting his own necklace: It didn't work. He studied Lau's long eyelashes, to the curve of the bridge of his nose, to his slight cupids bow, the fullness of his lips, the height of his cheekbones down to the sharpness of his jawline. Laurent was absolutely breathtaking and he couldn't fathom how someone could ever harm him in any way.

Larry allowed a soft smile to grace his lips while against his will the feeling of pride crept into his heart and love found its way into his eyes. Anyone who knew Larry knew for a fact he held his brother to a higher level than himself, he was extremely prideful when it came to his brother, whether it be his dancing, his kindness or his voice: no one compared to him. He's told numerous women in his life that if it came down to choosing them or his brother, he's picking Lau everytime. (I've heard Larry say that he'd leave the woman he loves for his brother)

If we could take the time to lay it on the line I could rest my head just knowin' that you were mine, All mine. So if you want to love me then darlin' don't refrain, Or I'll just end up walkin' in the cold November rain

Larry walked over to Lau wrapping his arms around his waist gently kissing his shoulder, slightly inhaling his scent. He ran a hand down his back transferring some of his energy. Lau leaned into his hold, his nerves running everywhere all at once. Larry ran a hand through his twists before softly speaking

Larry: You nervous

Lau: terrified

Larry: I be there bèbe, it be oki

Lau reached down placing a hand on top of Larry's with a slight pout, he was so nervous he was starting to make himself nauseous. He felt like he was overreacting a bit but he went through hell for two years, suffering in silence literally fighting for his life and now he's expected to just unload that onto a stranger? That would be difficult for anyone but it was extremely difficult for him seeing as him and Larry have a motto: Trust nobody, Trust yourself

On top of all of that, he had a pretty good assumption on how Larry would react to all of that. He contemplated talking to the therapist alone about his feelings for Larry... he needed to offload it somewhere and if he was gonna open up about the abuse he might as well tell her everything: it'd be completely confidential right? He took a deep breath nodding his head a bit turning to face Larry, he needed to get out of his head.

Lau: if I ask you for leave the room would you?

Larry: of course, you tell me when you comfortable telling me. We no keep secrets right?

Lau: right

Lau nodded once again silently thanking the heavens for having such a supportive brother... he'd have to repeat that word a lot: brother, to his mind and to his heart. Larry grabbed his keys ushering them out the door towards the car, once inside and buckled up he gently took Lau's hand giving it a soft squeeze.

Lau took this time to reflect on everything that's happened, he couldn't shake the fear he felt. Jaden could be lurking anywhere, watching him. It made his stomach twist and for a second he thought he might vomit. He was free of Jaden and yet it felt like he was still under his thumb. He couldn't look Larry in the eyes, yelling made his body jerk and quick movements set him off completely: this wasn't the way to live. He didn't want to live like this anymore, he wanted his life back. He wanted Laurent back and he was going to find him.

———

???: Mr. Bourgeois? Ms. Brown will see you now

Lau: oki, thank you

Lau took a deep breath standing up from his seat, his hand immediately reaching for Larry. He slipped his hand into Lau's standing to his feet as well, they'd agreed on Larry sitting outside the office and Dr. Brown would grab him if Lau needed him. Larry didn't like this idea but wasn't going to fight him on it, it was Lau's decision and his right.

It felt like the air in his lungs evaporated as he stepped foot across the threshold, he loved taking on new things and challenges but at this very moment he wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. He sat down in the chair furthest from the door but made sure it faced it, clearing his throat he gazed at Dr. Brown who welcomed him with a warm smile. "Hello Laurent, I'm Dr. Brown. I'll be working with you through this process" she spoke softly giving him a soft genuine smile before continuing. "As a victim myself... I completely understand what you went through and I'm glad you're alive and in front of me, I won't say I know how you feel because I don't. We are two different people and experienced different things so I'm not going to pretend to be relatable. Too many victims have either been too afraid to speak out or never made it out dead or alive so to see your face is a huge relief". Lau smiled back at her softly nodding his head, still slightly unsure but willing to try knowing Larry was here if he needed him. "Thank you... I happy to be alive and I know how lucky I am." Dr. Brown shook her head softly correcting him "you're not lucky Laurent, you're blessed and protected, I don't know what you have protecting you but it's strong"

Lau's mind immediately drifted to his mother who has prayed for and over him since birth and to Larry who's protected him no matter what and vice versa. "I am protected and I am... thankful" Dr. Brown nodded her head once again gazing at him "Now since this is our first meeting, I would like to start by saying, whatever is said in this room does not leave this room. Whatever you want to voice to me is your decision, I will not push you to speak and lastly, your emotions, feelings and thoughts are valid, they are heard and they are respected plus important, there is no judgement here. If you need to cry, scream or throw something you are free to do so" Lau once again nodded his head to show he understood. "Now, I assume I'll be working with you for awhile so with that being said, I am Melody and I'm so happy you're here"

The lyrics used in this chapter are from
November Rain by Guns' N' Roses