Dreaming... we always dream of what could have been and not what has been. Sometimes we wish we could go back and change the past only to realize it's the past for a reason and our cards have already been dealt. Certain things happen for a reason and we grow to accept that.. for example
- Falling in love with someone you shouldn't
I didn't ask to fall in love with Laurent, it just happened... his smile, his strength, the way he treats people, his optimism, the way he sees things in a brighter light than I.. who wouldn't fall for him.. I remember the exact moment I realized I was in love with him.. we were at a workshop, he'd been acting silly as usual making everyone laugh when he noticed a baby.
Lau: oh my gosh, pleaseeee
Larry: Lau c'mon we must warm up
Lau: I know I know but please one second
Laurent walked over to the little boy gently picking him up after asking permission from the mother who gladly accepted. He gently bounced the child while walking around with him humming quietly. The boy must have felt safe the way he melted into Laurent. I watched on seemingly frozen in time, my heart softening as I gazed at him. It's like he was all I could see, a smile on my face that mirrored his when he glanced over towards me.
He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and I couldn't stop my heart from pounding out of my chest. I knew it was wrong but when have I ever cared about what anyone has to say or think? This is my life and I'll live it the way I want and at this very moment I want Laurent by my side as my lover.
Laurent continued to beam at me not knowing he was the reason I was smiling, eventually we finished the workshop and went home. This is just one of the multiple occasions where he made me want to give him the sun, the moon and the stars. I remember one of the times I almost slipped up and told him I was in love with him. We'd had a huge fight because I had distanced myself from him a bit trying not to blow my cover... he didn't like that very much...
Laurent paced the bedroom all while never removing his eyes from me. He was clearly frustrated blowing air out of his mouth. I knew he was upset and I knew why yet I chose to play dumb.
Lau: what I do huh? What I do to make you no love me!?
Larry: Lau you overthink this, I do love you!
Lau: then why you break away, you no close to me no more, you always leaving or distant! What I do!?
Larry wanted to yell so bad "it because I in love with you idiot!!" Yet he remained silent on that topic choosing to say something else
Larry: I sorry Lau, you no do anything... I just in love
Hearing this Lau teared up a bit in fear that he was being replaced in the relationship. He froze on the spot sniffing a bit nodding his head, grabbing a bag he began packing his things causing Larry to panic.
Larry: Lau! Lau! What you doing!? Where you going!?
Lau: I no want to be in the way with your girlfriend or fight for your attention and affection. We do everything together but I manage
Larry: Lau! No leave! I no have a girlfriend! You know I'd leave any woman to be with you bro!
Laurent was having none of it, he grabbed his bag and left going over to Jaden's place. If only I'd stopped him and told him... then we wouldn't be in this mess
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A B U S E (re-write)
قصص الهواةLaurent Bourgeois has come to terms with his sexuality and has accepted the fact that he is gay. Now out of highschool and a dance instructor he's 21 now, happy and free.. Or at least he thought he was until he begins living the same nightmare on re...
