ᴛᴡɪʟɪɢʜᴛ ꜱᴛᴀʀ || Jakehoon

39

Sunghoon's POV:

So..I'm not going to the states anymore..I was so upset when Jake went to Australia without telling me..and now I was trying to do the same..I guess it was wrong of me..

Anyways..it's been around 4days since Hyeonwoo's death aniversary..Jake as promised always stays with me and accompanies me to the Psychatrist and waits outside till I'm done..but Jay still hasn't spoken to me..he doesen't even pick my calls or replies to my texts..

I understand though..he was always by my side and I just had to upset him by being rude..it will take some time but I'll get him to speak to me eventually..

"Hoon wanna have some rameyon?" Jake asked as he turned his eyes from the tv to me.
"yeah sure..shall I help?"
"Nope just sit here..I'll make it quick"

we are at my house right now..my parents are both out for some work so we are spending the whole night here..

After some minutes Jake came with two bowls of Rameyon..

"This is so Good Jake!"
"You're talking to a die-heart Rameyon fan Hoon"
"Ofcourse..no one makes better rameyon than you and Hee hyung.."
He chuckled and we started finishing off the food..

"Hey Love do you have some vitamins I could take..the skin in my naibeds are tearing.."
"they must be painful..take vitamins regularly okay? I have some in my bedside drawer..just take it from their.."
"Okay.."

He went upstairs and I started doing the dishes.

Jake's POV:

These little things are so freaking painful..

I went to Sunghoon's room to take the vitamins..I opened the drawer and took the bottle of vitamin pills out but something else caught my attention..a diary? but it's Hyeonwoo's..I know it too well to mistake it..he always bought it to school with him..

I fought the urge to look through it but my curiosity got the best of me and I took it out and flipped through it and opened the last few pages of entry..Hyeonwoo's death aniversary is on 28th November..I want to see what was on his mind before it..

24th Nov

It's been around two weeks since I started dating..I mean fake dating Jake..I feel bad honestly..at one hand I want to do it cause I feel so angry for no reason while on other hand I feel guilty when he says he loves me..I'm playing with Jake's feelings shamelessly yet I can't put an end to this act..just one hour before I hit Sunghoon again cause he asked me to stop this..I called him a coward and what not..even Ji-ho stopped talking to me..I don't want to do this..please help me..please..

25th Nov

I did it again..I hit Hoon again..I didn't know what got into me when I saw him..he had to beg me to stop..his words are still echoing in my head..I didn't meet Jake today cause I was too ashamed to face him..what's even wrong with me? why am I acting this way? Oh God please take me from this place..I can't do this anymore..I feel terrible..

26th Nov

The same day yet again..but there was one good thing..I didn't lay a hand on Sunghoon today..but it was just because he locked himself inside..I don't know what disgusts me so much when I see him..I know it's not his fault but I just can't control myself..should I just end everything? I am hating this life..this is a burden I can't carry anymore..I hate hurting everybody like that..I hate it even more when Sunghoon dosen't even fight back..I know it's for his dad but I want him to hit me back and knock some senses into me..but I'm to blame, I made him like this..I made him weak..as each day goes by I just feel even more disconnected from life..I request you God..please free me..please help me..