Red Owl Vs Blue Raven

Sibling Arrivalries

Sister: You let me get arrested! I had to stay there for a week!

Hunter: Oh boo hoo. You had to stay in jail. It's not like I got my arm noise broken from your stupid bar fight!

Grif: Hunter shut up! We're talking about this you dated my sister. Kaikaina go home.

Sister: What?

Grif: Go home, right now. Get in your ship, uncrash it, and fly it home.

Sister: Whatever. Make me.

Grif: As much as I don't wanna spoil my reputation as a do-nothing slacker, I will not hesitate to beat you senseless and drop you in that ship myself.

Sister: I thought you would be happy to see me.

Grif: How did you even get here, we're in the future!

Simmons: Hmm, I think I know how. Did you use your hyperdrive to get here, or just the light drive?

Sister: Which one is the hippie drive? Is that the one with all the knobs or is it the other one with all the knobs?

Hunter: Oh classic drug up sister.

Sister: Hey up your's alcoholic fuck.

Simmons: Yeah, she probably came here just using the light drive. And as Einstein theorized, in his theory of relativity-

Grif: English.

Simmons: When you travel near the speed of light, time slows down for you. Essentially she came forward in time by travelling at light speed.

Grif: That's stupid.

Simmons: No, that's science. Didn't you ever read the famous science fiction story where the astronaut watches his baby son being born, but then he gets in a ship-

Grif: No.

Simmons: Well, did you ever read the one where-

Grif: No.

Simmons: How 'bout-

Grif: I didn't read any of them!

Sister: Hey. Who's the nerd?

Simmons: Excuse me, I'm not a nerd. My mom says there's nothing shameful about being smart.

Hunter: That's kind of heart warming but you are a nerd Simmons.

Sarge: Alright Missy, there's just one thing I don't get. How'd you join the Army?

Sister: What do you mean? I just signed up.

Sarge: But you're a... you know, you- you got lady parts.

Sister: So?

Sarge: So unless this is the cooking and sewing Army-

Sister: No, I went to join the real Army.

Sarge: Does your gun shoot brownies?

Sister: What?

Simmons: You'll have to excuse Sarge, he comes from the old school.

Grif's Sister: Thanks. By the way, nobody says "old school" any more. Actually, they told me I was too young. So I grabbed an extra suit of armour, and boosted a shuttle.

Grif: Glad you learned something from me.

Sister: Nohoho, I'm just kidding. I always wanted to do something like that.

Hunter: Like how she stole a car because she wanted to.

Sister: It was a great car and stole it from me.

Hunter: Yes I stolen the car but I returned it and then bought it.

Grif: But why did you join the Army? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Sister: Well, you always looked after me when Mom ran away to join the circus.

Simmons: W-wait a second, hold on. Your Mom is in the circus? You know, at first I didn't like you, but you've already made my insults forty-five percent more efficient by just saying one sentence.

Sarge: Was your Mom a flaming sword swallower? We could use somebody to replace Donut.

Sister: Nope. You know how circuses have a bearded lady, and a fat lady? Well, my Mom plays both, 'cause she's like, super-talented.

Simmons: Oh my God. Is it okay if I record everything you say?

Sister: Sure! Anyway, Grif always looked after me, but when he went away, I didn't wanna be alone.

Simmons: Okay, let me get this straight. You felt scared, being alone, so you decided to join a war.

Sarge: She's a Grif alright.

Hunter: Yeah she pretty stupid.

Sister: Hey!

Hunter: Oh shut up.

Grif: Wait a minute, she was the one who was tapping!

Simmons: Duh.

Sister: Yeah. I was wondering why you guys didn't answer.

Simmons: None of us know Morse Code. It's outdated.

Sister: Don't you mean old school?

Hunter: Look both work because they both mean the same thing.

Grif: No, don't you get it? If she was the one tapping, then what happened to Donut?

Cut to a an immense underground cavern, with muffled voices coming from above

Donut: A baby? Wait up! I wanna see! I'm a uncle now! If Amity really did have a kid.

Sarge: Donut, get back here! Wait for the ship.

Donut: But Sarge, we don't know when the ship is gonna get here. It's coming all the way from Earth. That could take days, or weeks, or months, or even years!

The ship lands, and Donut falls into the cavern.

Donut: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

After a good six seconds, he hits the ground with a thud.

Donut: Ow.