Some Weird Sitcom

Remember That Time We Made A Thot Break Up With An Idiot

- “Okay Leo, what did you do this time?” Tempest asked.
- “Hey this isn’t on me. I told you I wouldn’t make that same mistake again. Renie --who isn’t even here mind you—decided to invite him in the main group chat.” Leo quickly replied.
“Him” was referring to Fotis, a slim, relatively tall dude with black hair and a very distracting mustache, whom Leo had met a couple years prior. It’s safe to say, nobody liked him.
Fotis was currently busy bothering Roufail, Achillop and Kewmed by bragging about his “accomplishments”.
- “Why does it sound so impossible to you guys. I CAN lift 175 kilos!”
- “No dude, you can’t. Look at you. Your cut? DEAD! Your drip? DEAD! Your mustache? LOOKS LIKE A DEAD RAT GOT STUCK ON YOUR FACE!” Roufail tried shutting him up, but to no avail.
- “Bro shut up, fat Roufail. Leo, tell him I’m right!” Fotis called out
- “You aren’t.” Leo told him after rejoining the group. “Now stop the yapping sesh so we can leave.”
- “You’re hot, Leo.” Fotis attempted to make a joke.
- “So, I’m guessing this is why you guys are so terrified of him?” Asked Achillop.
- “Less terrified, more I wanna punch him in the face.” Kewmed told him. “Oh and, by the way, you need a haircut.”
- “No, I don’t!” Said Achillop, his hair having surpassed shoulder length a long time now. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”
Some time passes, and the meetup has been going surprisingly smoothly. Or, well, as smoothly as it can get with Fotis around. When suddenly, Fotis started interrupting every conversation happening at the time.
- “I forgot to tell you guys! I now have a girlfriend!” He announced.
Kewmed started laughing, and Roufail joined him shortly after. Achillop was puzzled, Tempest didn’t care at all and Leo started the questions.
- “When did you meet this girl?” He asked, the other still laughing their lungs out in the background.
- “Wait lemme…1...2...” Fotis started counting on his fingers “7…13…K...3 Days ago!” The laughing got louder, with the other two also joining in and Leo being barely able to contain himself.
Fotis then proceeded to show the boys a picture of his girlfriend.
- “Hey wait a minute I know this girl!” Kewmed stopped laughing. “She’s my local drug dealer’s second cousin’s best friend’s ex! Apparently, she was cheating on him with five guys at the same time.”
- “Nothing to worry about my guy, she’ll never cheat on me! I’m literally the hottest guy on the planet. And I can list 180 kilograms!”
- “Wait weren’t they 175 an hour ago?” Achillop tried asking Fotis
- “I improve over time dumbass. By the time I explain the inner workings of my weightliftingtory system I’ll be able to lift your mom up! Get it? Because she’s morbidly obese?” Fotis was spewing random words at this point. He thought what controlled how much you can lift was some imaginary system in the human body.
Everyone then agreed to ignore him until they were done, which worked, for the most part. After he finally left, Leo spoke.
- “We need to get him to break up.”
- “Why do we care again?” Tempest asked, very much ready to go into hibernation at that point.
- “Because, he’s dating a notorious cheater. He’s still one of us, even if we don’t exactly like him.”
- “I say let’s leave him. He’s the most unfunny person we’ve ever met, other than the Garlic kid.” Roufail hated Fotis with all his heart and soul.
- “Okay how’s this: we make him break up, he gets depressed and leaves us alone for a week. Maybe. Tempest is about to fall asleep standing so let’s cure his boredom or else we'll have bigger problems than an unfunny dude's relationship.” Leo proposed.
- “Okay then, fine. What’s the plan.”
EPIC TRANSITION TO FOTIS
Fotis had to leave early to go check on his girlfriend. She was definitely not cheating on him.
- “Hey babe, some douchebag I met said you cheated on your last boyfriend. You would never do that, right?” He asked her.
- “Uh yeah duh? Who told you that?”
- “His name was Karlmed or something.”
- “Well, he LIED! Let’s go on a date or something.”
EPIC TRANSITION BACK TO THE OTHERS
- “Okay I have a godawful plan. So, one of us will go and flirt with her, while- “
- “How about we just jump her instead.” Tempest interrupted Leo.
- “Uhm…All in favor?” Leo asked the group. Everyone raised their hands. “Assault it is!”
EPIC TRANSITION TO A BAR
Tempest had tracked the location of Fotis and his girlfriend. How? He simply asked Micheal.
-"How the hell does this work?" Leo asked.
-"Well, Micheal always knows where we are, so I assumed it'd work on other people just the same." Tempest explained.
They were now waiting outside for Leo’s signal, who had gone inside to attempt a negotiation with her. Meanwhile, Achillop had thrown the DJ in the garbage, because he was playing Yeat
-"Nobody wants to fucking hear that shit!" he declared right before throwing the DJ.
Lop then hooked his guitar to the stereo and began playing some very loud music that nobody liked, successfully distracting Fotis. Leo then walked up to the girl.
- “Break up with Fotis and I’ll give you 3 euros and 53 cents.” Leo’s deal was very tempting.
- “Oh, I’m breaking up with him anyway. He’s so fucking pathetic. I almost feel bad for cheating on him. But his millimeter defeater wasn’t exactly any good.” She said.
"Damn... She really is a thot!" Leo thought to himself.
Meanwhile someone had thrown a chair on Achillop’s face, stopping the music. Fotis then noticed Leo.
- “No way, hot Leo? You met my girlfriend I see.” He spoke.
Leo wasn’t anticipating him and put his hand up in shock. Everyone outside thought this was the signal, and then chaos ensued.
Roufail kicked the door open, and immediately tackled Fotis to the ground and started wailing on him. Tempest, after again nearly falling asleep ran straight at the girl, knocking her over, with Kewmed following shortly.
A crowd had amassed around the fighting, and eventually Kewmed decided this wasn’t chaotic enough and started hurdling stools at the bystanders
-"TECHNIQUE AMPLIFICATION: MAXIMUM OYZOMAKI!" He chanted the name of his attack, which included throwing chairs and oyzo at random people and Leo, who was caught up in his attack.
One of the chairs hit some Jock Mafia recruits, who immediately recognized Leo and started chasing him around.
After this went on for a little while, the bouncers came in and kicked everyone out. The crowd dispersed, leaving only the boys, Fotis and his now ex-girlfriend.
- “You hired some crackheads to come beat ME up? We’re over!” She started yelling at him.
- “No wait, I don’t know these people! I got beaten up too you know!” Fotis tried stopping her, but it was too late. He then turned to the others. “What the hell you guys!”
- “I’d thank us if I were you.” Tempest told him. “She wasn’t for you.”
- “Who is?” Roufail quipped.
- “This was my first serious relationship you guys, and it’s ruined! I’m going home…” Fotis then left, mourning his 3-day-long relationship that so abruptly ended.
- “Why the hell did you guys come in? I didn’t signal for you!” Leo asked.
- “You put your hands up, so I figured- “ Kewmed tried explaining but was interrupted.
- “Why did you start hitting the bystanders?” Leo asked him. Kewmed only snickered in response.
-“Whatever, we got what we came for. Let’s go home, I don’t want to take another beating today.” Leo told the others, and they started dramatically walking away from the bar, the building burning behind them, and firetruck sirens sounding in the distance.
A few minutes later they realized Achillop still was inside, knocked out with a chair on his face.