A Little Bit of Sunshine

Chapter 31: Lena

I rubbed at my temples, supporting my weight on my elbows as I tried to breathe through the pounding migraine that had been building since I logged into the Zoom meeting with my therapist. Why I had decided to give it a chance, was beyond me. If anything, I felt more irritated than I had been prior to the meeting. My therapist was pleasant, but she was persistent. The silent treatment had only gotten me so far. I had even tried switching over to my boardroom voice to no avail. She saw right through me, leaving me unnerved and raw– exposed.

Kara was the only one allowed to see me like that.

Kara... I hadn't talked to her about the therapist yet. I wasn't even sure why. A part of me didn't want to tell her and then go back on my word. The thought of disappointing her left me feeling sick to my stomach. She was right though, even if I didn't want to accept it. The memories of the past weekend had come back to me in pieces, cementing the fact that I was broken. There was no denying the reality. A glass breaking shouldn't send my mind into a spiraling death trap where the wall of windows exploding in on me in the dead of night over and over again.

I shook my head, doing my best to clear away the smell of gunpowder, the deafening sounds of the glass and the ricocheting bullets. I still had no idea how I managed to avoid getting shot. Luck? I wasn't one to believe some higher being had stepped in to protect me. I had never been a practicing believer of any religious figure, and I wasn't about to start now.

"Ms. Luthor?"

I nearly leapt out of my chair, banging my knee on the underside of my desk in the process. I grabbed at my knee, a hiss of discomfort making it past clenched teeth as Jess came through my office doors.

"I'm so sorry!" She took a quick step forward before remembering who it was she was rushing towards. She drew up short and stood straighter, shoulders back. In her hands, she held a plastic container. "I, um, I have your lunch."

"Thank you. You can leave it on the desk." I released my hold on my still tingling leg and did my best to appear unphased despite the urge to cry clenching its fist around my throat.

Jess did as requested and left again without a word, shutting the door behind her. Between Jess, Sam, and Kara, I found breakfast and lunch being delivered throughout the day during the last week. At first, I had assumed they all came from Kara, but I soon realized that it was indeed all three of them making me food. Sam and Kara were usually in charge of lunch, where Jess took over with breakfast. I always knew it was her because she wasn't much of a cook and would always bring me pre portioned things such as bagels and fruit along with my second cup of coffee for the day.

The reality of it was baffling. When did Kara have the time to talk to them? How had she managed to convince them to do anything so easily? Diligently, I had taken the food, picking at it through the day as I worked, but I always sent proof of consumption to Kara when I finally managed to get it down. Her responses left me smiling and tingling with something that felt like pride.

Today though, I didn't feel very proud of anything. I had given my therapist the run around for the entire hour. I would say that I had been downright rude; everything short of cussing her out and telling her to kiss my ass. The only thing that stopped me from doing just that was the fact that bad press was the last thing I needed. Not with the merger on the horizon. It didn't matter that I had sent her over a stack of NDA paperwork. Even when she promised confidentiality due to HIPPA, she had still emailed the signed documents back with little prompting.

I glanced over at the clock on the corner of my laptop. It was already noon, and there was still too much to do. The knowledge that I was expected to be in my car with Frank on the way home by 5:45 pm every day was frustrating. That wasn't enough time.