A Little Bit of Sunshine

Chapter 2: Lena

I woke up screaming. I should have known that the comfort wouldn't last. Comfort never does. It's always rudely ripped away the moment you least expect it. I threw my hands out to turn on the bedside lamp, nearly knocking it to the floor in my haste. The smell of gunpowder hung in my nose, the sound of glass shattering, of screaming- it all gnawed at my rationality.

The room was bathed in light. Everything was still off white. Everything was still put together with the exception of my clothes from earlier puddled on the ground. Nothing was out of place. I was safe.

Wracking sobs made it hard to breath, and all I could do was wrap my arms tightly around my raised legs, back pressed safely against the headboard. No part of me wanted to be alone. My house was too big. There were too many shadows. Too many places to hide.

"D-donk..." I cried, fumbling around in an attempt to find him in the sea of twisted blankets. He was nowhere, sending my heart through the floor. "Donkey!"

I fell off onto the floor as my legs became tangled, yelping as my shoulder connected roughly with the marble. Even with the thick rug, it did very little to dull the ache. Thankfully, Donkey was on the floor between the edge of the bed and the nightstand, and I crushed him against my chest.There we stayed, huddled in the fetal position.

It could have been minutes or hours until I finally felt in control enough to crawl to my feet. My throat was raw and I'd wiped more snot on my sleeve than should be possible. I plucked at my damp sleeve, hating the way it felt against my skin, and began pulling the pajamas off entirely. My movements were uncoordinated and slow, and it didn't help that my pull up was definitely not dry anymore. More tears sprang up to take over. Shame.

Just another night.

I sat up for the remainder of the night, bent over my tablet on the couch as I crowded my brain with work. That was easy. That was controllable. Even when I crawled into the shower, hair twisted into a bun on top of my head, I had to turn on NPR just to fill the silence. It was too much.

By the time I walked into my office at 6am, I had managed to clear my mind enough to dawn the Luthor mask, head held high. Not that there were many people around to see. It was relatively quiet since most people came in at eight. Even Jess wasn't at her desk.

The saving grace of it all was that the day went surprisingly easy. Nothing exploded in the lab. No one showed up at my office to bitch about budgets or idiotic project ideas that only lined pocket books and filled ditches with bodies. No one tried to kill me. That in and of itself was enough to make the day good.

To say that I left at a reasonable time though, would be a lie. In truth, it was nearing eight by the time I stumbled through the front door. I hurried through making dinner and a shower before falling into my desk chair in a green pair of dinosaur patterned pajamas and Donkey Square.

I scrolled through what I had missed during the day on Discord, finding myself smiling at the sheer simplicity of it all. Sometimes there were big emotions that got talked through but most of the time, it was just people playing and laughing.

Kara was back again. It would seem that she had become a crowd favorite. Yes, she was incredibly sweet and attentive, but I knew enough to know there were a lot of people paying attention simply because she was a mommy, and most of us didn't have a caregiver. The idea of having one was so far out of the realm of possibilities that I almost didn't let myself think about it.

Lee: Hewwo

Rocket: Lee Lee! I fought chu wasn't gonna comes

Lee: Works *grumpy* buuuuttt I's gots a chimpkin sandwich for dindin 🙂