Red past | Charles Leclerc

Perfect

He never actually came into the room, by my guess, he slept either on the sofa or in someone else's room. I tried texting him but It was left on delivered. I ran into Julia and Arthur on my way out for a Jog the following morning, both of them trying to convince me that his phone was probably off. Not that I believed a single word they said, but I loved them both for trying to console me but the one thing I needed most was to be alone and with my own thoughts.

I said a quick bye to them before I took off for my run, I decided to follow the road along the coast line, the gentle breeze hitting my face, my blonde hair flowing from sides to side with each step I took.

Truthfully, all my thought were consumed by him, some more extreme than others but the main one that made my stomach turn was the fact that I hurt him. After everything, my fear of him hurting me again was the main source of fear for me in our relationship no matter how slight it was, it remained there but instead, I was the one inflicting the pain.

I loved him, I truly did. Every time I was with him, I felt like I was complete in some way and every time I wasn't with him, it felt like time stopped and I was forced to spend my time without a single source of happiness. The sight of his smile, the happiness in his eyes and the dimples that carve into his cheeks. The way he looks when he is utterly consumed by concentration over the slightest little things. It's the small details that make my affection for him grow so much stronger.

Since we got back together, I had a gnawing feeling at the back of my mind that I couldn't deal with him hurting me again. This whole time, I had been comparing us to our past and now I realise that there is absolutely nothing that compares to what we have now, the strength of the love I feel for him was so much stronger than anything I'd ever felt before, with anyone, even him.

From the ages of 18 to 20, he was my other half but we were both young and confident that nothing bad would ever happen, being with him taught me how to live and care for some one with such passion that it consumed me but due to the inexperience we were blinded by the truth of reality.

No relationship is perfect, because perfect is a construct that people build in their minds, the thought of having something that is so good that anything negative can be wiped away in a matter of seconds. All I could think about was the past, as we talked about what we wanted in life, a long time before we even got together.

"Why, where do you see yourself in the future?" We were sat in the garden of his parents home as we looked out onto the horizon, enjoying each other's presence.

"I don't know," I giggled, paused for a second as I thought about my answer, "I see myself living in a Villa in Spain, after retiring as a F1 world champion. My husband playing in the pool with the kids while I sat in the sun and enjoyed the fulfilling life I had."

He smiled at me, like he could envision it in his mind.

"You'll get your perfect future, Mila," he stated as he laid back onto the freshly cut grass.

"How can you be so sure?" Let's call it child curiosity, I didn't really understand the concept of making hope a reality but that was a strong belief that the Monegasque held.

"I just know," he closed his eyes and we didn't speak another word until Arthur came running towards us

After a solid 5k run that I could officially class as training I made my way back through the front gate. I was fully focused on the music blaring through my AirPods that I didn't notice the brunette sat on the steps. I didn't stop until I was less than a foot away from him after almost liking his leg.

I took out my AirPods slowly, in slight disbelief at the fact that he was in front of me.

"Charles?"

"Can we talk?" He spoke so quietly, like he was scared I would say no.

"Of course, always," I placed my AirPods backing in my pocket and took a seat next to him.

He didn't dare to look at me, his gaze remained on the sky even when began talking. I wasn't going to keep my hopes up for the outcome of this conversation because it wasn't looking like it was very positive.