Living in someone's shadow is difficult and majority of people know what it's like but not many people learn from their neglection. I went from driving my brothers old kart during the weekends to the first ever female driver in F2 and hopefully one...
I walked to through the door of my apartment leaning back against it once it had reached a complete close. I could hear the growl of the Ferrari's engine fading as it drove further away. I don't exactly know how I'm supposed to feel, usually when I'm with him, he never makes me feel invisible or unseen but this silence that falls upon us once we are alone makes me feel so unfamiliar to him.
The reality of me being in my apartment struck me, removing any thoughts I had about the Monegasque as I looked at the comforting room before my eyes. A smile grew at the corners of my lips. It had only been a couple of weeks since I had been in that very room and yet it felt like months. A feeling of safety and awareness ran through my body erasing every thought that possessed my brain.
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Why Arthur couldnt ask his brother himself is beyond me. I decided to head into the shower because there wasn't any way that Charles was already at his apartment.
~
I put on some comfy shorts and a thin sweater because it was quite warm despite the lack of human activity within the apartment recently.
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I sighed walking over to my phone that sat, plugged in on the bedside table unenthusiastic of having to text my ex after just leaving his car under an hour ago.
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I had conflicting emotions between sadness and relief. Spending time with him even with other people around us causes clouds of restriction between how we act but no matter the tension between us he was still Charles. The boy I've know for most of my life, the boy that I had loved for years even before we were together.
According to Arthur, Amanda is the first girl Charles had been with since our break up. When I got with Lando, just over a year after we separated he wasn't too pleased. He complained to Arthur about my 'purposeful tourment' to him. About the Condescending looks Lando shared with him when he was near us. I had already moved on and he deserved to as well.
I chose to post an Instagram story due to my lack of activity on any of my social media accounts. Probably the reason why my Social media manager is mad at me.
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@arthur_leclerc It's good to be home ⬇️ @Anika.Verstappen09 The best place on Earth 🌎
@Maxverstappen1 Are you having fun on your night away from us😆 ⬇️ @Anika.Verstappen09 every night is a night away from you because I choose to be as far away from you as possible🥰😇 ⬇️ @Landonorris Violation💯
@User 1 can't wait for Baku ⬇️ @User 2 hopefully we get a better result than last time
@user 3 good luck in Baku🦁 ___________________________________________
Before we got on the plane to Monaco, Kelly promised she would call so to pass time before said conversation I decided to doodle while watching friends. Although my mind was blocked, I couldn't do anything with stressing thoughts about Baku and the fact that my Father was going to be there. I pushed the pencil and paper away from me as my mind wandered around possible strategies we could use on the race.
Only muffled voices from the TV reached my ears as I attempt to block out sound to provide more concentration.
For twenty minutes I sat there thinking over many possible outcomes for the race ahead, the different places I could come and the stupid mistakes I could make to put me there. Only when a loud ringtone shot through the air did I snap out of my thoughts.
"Hey, how's Monaco?"
"Hey Kelly. It's good to be back home," my mind blured back to reality to try and concentrate on the conversation.
"We've still got 2 more days in Holland before we can join you over there," Max and Kelly along with her daughter Penelope mainly live in Monaco like me but unlike me they visit My father more often.
It's not that hard to visit my father more than I do considering the only time I see him is when he pops up at certain races.
"How's P?"
"She's a bit annoyed that we left her with my parents for the last race weekend but other than that happy that we are back with her." Kelly and my brother can't exactly bring her along to ever race we have so when she can't join us she either stays with her father, depending on is he is free that weekend or with Kelly's parents.
"I would be too if I was her," I laughed making my way to the bedroom.
"So what's been going on with the middle Leclerc?" Oh straight to the point there Kelly.
I took a seat on the foot of the bed followed by a long sigh that escaped my mouth.
"It's confusing because as much as I want to despise him for what happened, I can't. I mean it's Charles the first boy I've ever loved, I can't just forget about him and completely ignored his existence," I know she didn't expect a minor rant but she asked the question.
"Even though it has been almost 2 years, I feel like you'll both get through this and before you know it. You'll both be back to being friends like you've always been."
I guess that's her way of saying 'time heals all wounds'. No matter what, I chose to believe her, not only because I trust her judgement because she is my friend but also because I have hope that everything will eventually be back to normal.
