Red past | Charles Leclerc

The dinner

The race weekend in Saudi Arabia flew by quicker than I would have hoped and before I knew it me, Arthur and Charles were in the Monaco. The boys had plans to go and have Dinner with Lorenzo and their mother until Arthur asked for me to tag along. I couldn't tell whether I was nervous or excited. I'd only seen Pascale once since mine and Charles' break up, that being on Arthur's 21st birthday.

When we pulled up to the house that I spent half of my childhood at, Deja vu rushed through me, the weekend visits and the summer stay overs. It was one place in the world that I loved every moment that happened within it.

"I promise it'll be fun," Arthur gave me a supportive smile before opening his door.

I followed the boys to the evening that begins the second Charles knocks on the large doors.

The knock vibrated through the house, disturbed by the squeal of the hinges as the door opened. Lorenzo gestured for us to go in, giving me a surprisingly calm look.

Pascale pulled her sons into a tight embrace, kissing their cheeks. Her eyes closed as she relaxed in their arms.

"Anika, ma chérie. Comment allez-vous? (Anika, my darling. How are you?" Pascale whispered walking over to me.

"Je vais bien, comment vas-tu? (I'm good, how are you?)" I replied pulling her into a hug.

"Tu m'as manqué (I've missed having you around)" she laughed, leading me through to the dining room.

The room was the same, everything was in the same place as it had been for the past 5 years. Some photos I assisted Pascale with picking out hanging along the walls. One unfamiliar picture I had never seen on the walls before stood out between them all. It was a photo of me and Charles on our 2 year anniversary. His hair shorter, and his green eyes glistening, complimented by the black of his suit jacket.

"I always liked that photo," Pascale whispered in my ear gently holding my shoulders with her hands. A small smile growing across her face.

"It feels like a lifetime ago," I laughed trying to hide my confusion on how to feel.

Me and Charles got together a few months after my nineteenth birthday, 21st of April 2018 to be exact. After 2 years of being with him, I got quite used to having him with me everywhere.

~

When the food was on the table, everyone sat in their seats. Me in the middle of Arthur and Charles. Five bowls of Bouillabaisse (seafood stew) sat on the place settings in front of us.

Charles took one bite of his food before his eyes fell on the photo I had noticed earlier. His face went blank as he stared at the happy expressions on our faces, If only we could be as happy as we once were.

"Charles?" His head popped in my direction, surprised at my use of his name. "You're daydreaming," I muttered trying not to interrupt the conversation between Lorenzo, Pascale and Arthur.

"Did you know that was there?" He nodded his head in the direction of the photo.

"You didn't?"

"No, it wasn't there the last time I was in this room, it was a photo of me and Arthur in karts," he seemed to be confused at the change of decoration within the time he last ate in here.

"When was the last time you were in here?" I was curious to seen how long ago Pascale changed the photos.

"5 months ago, something like that. I don't usually eat in here when I visit, we usually eat at the table in the kitchen."

Pascale ushered us into their conversation allowing ours to fade away as the boys began talking about tennis.

The food was amazing, a lot better than anything you can get while travelling. Trying new foods, experimenting and expanding your appetite is nice but there is nothing I love more than the unique, but yet familiar food of home.

Eating with the people I grew up with, a family I was closest to, gave me a warm and relaxed sensation. Like the only feeling you can get when you are in the place you feel safest.

I know every part of this house, inside and out, mainly from when me and the boys played hide and seek but the only room that I can recite every detail in my mind is Arthur's. The PC that we would play on every time I came over, us both bickering about what game to play. By the end of it we just played on the simulator, every time. A photo hung up on the wall of us after his first karting win when we were kids located above his desk. I can remember every secret them walls hold, and every petty argument we have had but no matter what happened we always made up after a matter of minutes.

A photo hung above the one of me and Charles showing me and Max next to Arthur and Charles holding ice creams with wide toothy grins across out faces.

Every moment in my past whether it be positive or negative I wouldn't change for the world. Every experience I have had made me into who I am and if someone has a problem with the person I have become then they can piss off.

~

After the dinner, Lorenzo suggested we watch a movie, it ended up being Top gun which was Charles' suggestion. Shocker.

By the end of the movie Arthur had fallen asleep, no one wanted to wake him because he looked so peaceful leaving me with only one option when Charles offered to drive me back to my apartment. I couldn't exactly say no otherwise I'd have no other way to get home.

After walking out of the large building I stopped the second I saw it. Charles' car the one you could spot from a mile away and know immediately who is behind the wheel. The Monaco colours highlighting the matt black of the rest of the Ferrari. It was impeccably clean given the circumstances of Charles only being in Monaco for a few weeks throughout the season. Walking towards the car that was filled with distant ghosts of our pasts. I cherish the moments we held in that car, the joyrides we'd have around Monte Carlo when our days weren't going as planned to try and cheer us up as well as the intimate conversations we held within while looking over the city. It felt like you could hear minor voices of our memories as you got closer.

No matter what you do you can never forget the good times in your life.