Family (KSJ)

Chapter 5

"I want to meet him."

Silence. Utter and complete silence hovered over the room.

"Jin", PD Bang tried to reason with him, "you know it isn't going to be that easy, especially if you aren't certain you know what you want in the future. You should take some time to think about it."

"I know what I want. I want to meet him."

PD Bang sighed and rubbed his hands down his face. "Ok, let me see what we can do."

Six days was all it took for a plan to come together. Ben received weekly transfusions at the children's hospital and was there for most of the day on Thursdays. HYBE had offered to the clinic that a few of the guys wanted to come and visit the sick children. Hobi and Taehyung had already agreed to go, loving to spend time with children. With Jin at their side they would spend an hour visiting the sick kids.

Only Jin, PD Bang, and the lawyer knew Jin's real motivation for being there. Everyone else just assumed it was a community outreach event.

"Are you feeling ok? You seem a little off", Taehyung nudged Jin as they rode the elevator up to the floor with the clinic.

"I'm fine, maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night." Jin knew he was acting strange but his mind was reeling, his heart was racing, and he thought he might be sick at any moment. He was about to see the son he never knew he had, nobody knew he had. What would he be like? What would it be like to see him the first time, to talk to him? His nerves were definitely getting the better of him, he needed a few deep centering breaths before he was ready to step off the elevator.

Each of the children receiving transfusions were in their own separate room. There were about 20 on the floor today. The guys decided they wanted to do the visit together, not sure what the situation would be like.

The first room had a 12 year old girl who squealed in delight as the boys walked in. They hardly got a word in edgewise as she peppered the men with thought on all of their songs, videos, concerts, and Run BTS episodes. After several hugs and a few pictures they headed to the next room. The children ranged in age from babies to teenagers. As they went into each new room Jin held his breath. Would this be the one?

Y/N was sitting on the chair, Ben curled up sideways on her lap resting his head against her chest. He was covered with a soft blanket covered with dinosaurs as Y/N gently ran her fingers through his hair as she talked to the boy. As soon as he entered the room Jin knew this had to be his son. A young non-Korean woman with a Korean boy, what were the odds that there would be more than one at the clinic that day?

"Hello!" Hobi called out first. Y/N immediately recognized him, looking at him in confusion.

"H-hello?" Now she saw all three of them. While she knew who they were she wasn't sure why they were here. Did they accidentally miss the room they were intending to visit? It wasn't every day that BTS showed up in the room you were in. I mean, sure she was in Korea but Seoul was very very large.

"Hi, I'm J-Hope and this is V and Jin. Do you speak Korean?"

Y/N looked confused. "Yes, I speak Korean but Ben doesn't."

"Oh, OK, then we can try in English."

Hobi was looking at Y/N and Ben curiously, clearly trying to figure out your relationship. While Jin knew what to expect, seeing you and Ben together was a surprise to the other members. It wasn't every day you saw a beautiful young American woman in Seoul.

"Hey Ben, is that a dinosaur?" Hobi pointed to the small bit of a stuffed animal that he could see peeking out from the top of the cozy blanket.

"Yeah." was the only response he received in return before the boy hid his face back in the woman's chest. With a few words of encouragement from Y/N he eventually continued. "His name is Rex."

Hobi and Tae quickly fell into conversation with Ben while Jin held back. He could see Y/N watching him from across the room, curious why he seemed frozen in place. It was just so much for him to take in all at once. His son was so small, yet so mature. He spoke English fluently, something Jin could hardly hope for himself. He was shy but sweet, he had dark chocolate hair with fringe that sometimes started to cover his eyes. He looked so skinny and Jin couldn't help but wonder if it was a result of the terrible sickness that he knew was ravaging the boy's body.

After several efforts Taehyung got Jin's attention and drew him into the conversation, inviting him to come closer to share his favorite dinosaur type with the boy. While Jin remained unusually stiff, he was able to come close enough to brush the boy's soft hand as they inspected his stuffed dinosaur together.

Only a few minutes later the manager was nudging them to let them know they needed to be on their way. After a few fist bumps with Ben and a picture that Jin insisted they take, the boys continued on their way to visit the rest of the children in the clinic. At each room Taehyung had to nudge Jin out of what seemed to be a faraway trance, deeply lost in thought about who knows what. Eventually their visits drew to a close and the boys headed toward the elevator.

"Hyung, really, you don't seem like you're doing so well. Are you sick? Do you need some rest?" Taehyung went to raise a hand to Jin's forehead but Jin pulled away before he could fully reach.

"Yeah, I think I might need to rest a little bit. I've just had a lot going on recently."

Jin fell silent as soon as they got into the car, returning to a spot deep in his own thoughts while Hobi and Tae discussed the children they had seen earlier in the day.

"What was the boy's name again? Ben? I couldn't quite figure him out. His mom clearly wasn't Korean. He seemed very attached to her." Jin couldn't help but listen in as Taehyung began discussing the boy he'd only just discovered was his own.

"Yeah, he was a sweet kid. It really is hard to imagine how much they have to go through. It hardly seems fair."

Jin squeezed his eyes shut to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. It was terrible seeing the boy so sick. He knew as soon as he laid eyes on him that if he could help him he would. Whether he was his son or not, nobody should have to suffer like that.

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"I want to do the testing to see if I'm a donor match. There is no reason why I can't help him. He doesn't have to know it's me right?" Jin was sitting in PD Bang's office in one of the chairs on the far side of his desk, Namjoon in the chair next to him.

"Jin, I really wonder if you should take some time to think about this first. I just don't want you to get ahead of yourself. Once you go too far it really won't be very easy to come back." PD Bang had no idea where this was heading but if the past had been any indication Jin was going to barrel forward at each step, hardly taking a second to think about its impact on either himself or the rest of the members.

"I just want to do the testing. He's my son. You told me yourself, if they can't find a donor what will happen to him? This is the least I can do. We don't have to do the donation just because we do the testing, right?"

PD Bang sighed again. "No, of course not. Just...let me figure this out. For now I think you should go back to practice. I'll let you know as soon as we have a plan."

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You had finally gotten Ben home and tucked into bed. Each visit to the clinic for transfusions without hearing about the paternity test was agonizing. It felt one week closer to giving up.

At least you had the visit from BTS to distract you today. Even though the visit only lasted a few minutes Ben was absolutely exhausted afterward, quickly drifting off to sleep for the rest of the afternoon. He'd hardly stirred when you brought him into the apartment and changed him into soft pajamas. Snuggling in next to him you brushed back his fringe and kissed his forehead.

"Sleep well Ben. I love you so much. You're doing so good. I promise I'm going to be right by your side through everything." You knew he wouldn't hear your whispers. Maybe you needed to remind yourself as much as you needed to remind him. No matter what happened, you were going to do what it took to make him better. It was a promise you made to him, to yourself, and to your dead parents. You were never going to stop fighting for him.