YOUR POV
I need to leave. I need more time to collect my thoughts, to be able to wed how I feel without yelling.
- Natasha : Please just talk to me
- y/n : Fucking hell Natasha. I need you to think about yourself, value your own life. After Kaiya you made sure I was okay and put yourself on the back burner, when everyone disappeared you spent months with me and the girls, sitting with us while we cried even though you'd lost your family too. For once, on that cliff, I needed you to choose yourself. Come home, talk to me, figure out another way, anything except throw yourself off the fucking cliff
- Natasha : I'm here now
- y/n : No, we had a funeral for you. I held our kids and we all said goodbye to you, we thought that was it, that we would never see you again. I held Ivy when she had nightmares, I was the one who stuck by Cece when she went mute, when she couldn't bring herself to talk, and I was the one that tucked PJ and Danny in countless times when they'd wake up asking for you, when you'd be home. I can't spend the rest of my life in constant debilitating fear that you're going to die. I love you so much, more than you will ever know, but I can't watch you kill yourself for me
- Natasha : What does this mean?
- y/n : Natasha, this is probably it
- Natasha : I don't want this to be the end. What about last night? This can't be it
- y/n : Then how come it is?
- Natasha : Please detka
- y/n : I'm going to move back into the compound until I can find a house big enough so the kids can stay with me when they want to. It's inconvenient for Wanda if I stay there anymore
- Natasha : No, please. Y/n, please. Forever, remember?
- y/n : Natasha, stop. I can't stay with you if you're going to kill yourself over it. We'll trade off holidays and birthdays and we'll both go to school events and later life events. I don't want to miss a graduation or wedding because you're there.
- Natasha : What can I do? Please detka, I can't lose you
- y/n : Natasha please. I can't keep doing this back and forth game. I love you so much but seeing you do this makes it hurt more then it should
I was wrong to stay last night. I wasn't planning on having sex with her or letting the kids know I'd stayed the night. I've gotten the kids hopes up, they think me and Nat will get back together, that was wrong of me.
- Wanda : Hey, where were you last night?
- y/n : Home
- Wanda : Oh?
- y/n : No
- Wanda : Oh, are you okay?
- y/n : Mhm, not really. We had sex
- Wanda : What? Start from the beginning
- y/n : We spoke about Ivy, shared a cigarette, I was going to stay the night, but only to sleep next to her and then we had sex. The kids came in when they woke up so they've all got their hopes up but me and Nat argued a lot just as I was leaving. I needed her to give me a reason and it just spiralled
- Wanda : So?
- y/n : That's it. I'm moving to the compound until I can get a house
- Wanda : You can stay here
- y/n : I know, but I want all the kids to be able to come and stay with me and that's not fair on you. Thank you so much for having me Wands
- Wanda : You're always welcome Y/n/n
It feels so bittersweet, I love living with Wanda but I'm moving over to find my own place, away from Nat.
- y/n : If course it's raining when we're packing my car
- Wanda : Blame Thor
- y/n : Mhm, I have a bone to pick with him
- Wanda : Let me get all your stuff in the car, you don't have to get any wetter then
- y/n : Crap I need to run to the shop to get pads and tampons for Charlie and Ives. I promised them
- Wanda : Pretty sure I've got some spare packs upstairs, just take those and I'll buy more. Let's load your car before you head over there though
- y/n : God, I've got to see her again. After I yelled at her
- Wanda : Just text one of the girls to come to the car. If you don't want to see her, no one can make you
- y/n : I guess
I'm soaked because Thor decided it was a great idea to have a storm and I'm just waiting for Charlie to come to the car to get the pads and tampons.
- Charlie : Thanks Mom
- y/n : No problem Cece
- Charlie : Are you coming in? Ivy said you and Mama were arguing but maybe you could sort it out again?
- y/n : Not today Charlie. Maybe another time. Be good for your Mama
- Charlie : I always am
This is Tony's fault my car is stuck. I said the curb and grass would be an issue, he said it wouldn't, but look at me now, my car is stuck.
- Natasha : Y/n?
- y/n : Not now Natasha
- Natasha : I'll retire, completely. Tony will let us live off the Avengers account. I'll teach Dance and you'll teach English. Please y/n, I can't live without you. I can't get up each day without you by my side, without knowing we're the greatest love story to exist. If this is it then what the fuck is real because love sure as hell isn't. Please, you've saved me countless times. You're my forever, you taught me to love and stood by me when anyone else would have run for the hills. Please Y/n. I'll sacrifice my job to know I'll never lose you
What part of "Not Now" means continue?
Authors Note
Have a drink and
a snack please
YOU ARE READING
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