Loving Her is Red

Thirty Seven

NATASHA'S POV

I take back what I said in Sokovia, about there not being a better last view. This almost beats it.

- Red Skull : Natasha, daughter of Ivan. Clint, son of Edith. In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul, for a soul.

- Clint : Maybe he's making this shit up.

- Natasha : No. I don't think so.

- Clint : Why? Cause he knows your Daddy's name?

- Natasha : I didn't, not my biological father. Thanos left here with the stone without his daughter. It's not a coincidence.

- Clint : Yeah

- Natasha : Whatever it takes

- Clint : Whatever it takes.

Clint has a family to get home to, he needs to see them again. I know Y/n will look after the kids, she'll have to. She'll need our family, her family but she'll do it.

- Natasha : If we don't get that stone, billions of people stay dead

- Clint : Then I guess we both know who it's gotta be

- Natasha : I guess we do

- Clint : I'm starting to think we mean different people here, Natasha

- Natasha : For the last five years I've been trying to do one thing: Get to right here. That's all it's been about. Bringing everybody back, bringing the boys back for Y/n, Wanda back for Tals. I need to do this

-Clint : Oh, don't you get all decent on me now. I've got to get Yelena back for you

- Natasha : What, you think I wanna do it? I'm trying to save your life, you idiot

- Clint : Yeah, well, I don't want you to. You know what I've become

- Natasha : I don't judge people on their worst mistakes.

- Clint : Maybe you should

- Natasha : You didn't

- Clint : You're a pain in my ass, you know that?

I can't let Clint do this. It's what I need to do. In the least depressing way possible, I want to do this.

- Clint : Tell my family I love them

- Natasha : Tell them yourself

I didn't think I'd be fighting Clint about who got to throw themself off a cliff. Y/n would laugh if I was able to tell her this story.

- Natasha : Let me go

- Clint : No. Please, no

- Natasha : It's okay

I don't want to die. I'm doing this for Y/n, what's the wrong phrasing. I'm doing this so we, she, can get our boys back, so the world can go back to normal. So Yelena, Maria, Nick, Bucky, Wanda, Billy, Tommy and all the billions of other people can come back. I never imagined this is how I'd die. I thought I'd be old, laying in bed, looking into Y/n's eyes, surrounded by the kids and our family. That's how I wanted to die, that would have been the best view but this takes the number 2 spot.

YOUR POV

I'm pissed off at Nat for rushing off without me. For not letting me help save the world but there's not much I can do from here.

- Tony : Hey, erm, can we talk?

- y/n : Yeah. Is Tasha back yet? I have a bone to pick with her, rushing off like that was rude. I wanted to help like serio-

- Tony : It's about Nat

- y/n : Okay, shoot

- Tony : Sit down. Nat went to Vormir. She spent ages looking into it, researching it, we read her diaries. Natasha and Clint had to make a sacrifice, one of them had to jump for the stone...

I need my girls. All of the girls, Ivy, Charlie, Tals. I need them close to me, it's the closest I can get to Nat.

- Ivy : Mom, where's Mama? Why are you crying?

- Tony : Want me to?

- Charlie : Mom?

- Tony : Girls, come here. Sit down, I need to talk to you. Your Mama is a very very brave lady. She's fought so many battles so you girls could be here and today she had to go fight another battle so your brothers can come back. Your Mama...

That's the woman I love. The woman who loved me, who promised she'd spend everyday of our lives together. She threw herself off a cliff, a fucking cliff. For what? A stone? You damn well know there would have been another way to get it, a way where she didn't have to kill herself.

- Ivy : Mom

- Charlie : Mommy

- y/n : Come here

- Ivy : Mommy

- y/n : It's okay. I've got you, Mommy's here

There is no handbook on how to console your children when their Mama dies. I can't take away all of their pain, any of their pain. They're losing someone they're not supposed to lose until they have their own kids and yet here we are. Over half of their family has died/disappeared on them, how do I reassure them that we'll be okay. I can't.

Authors Note
Have a drink and
a snack please