Loving Her is Red

Twenty Two

NATASHA'S POV

I was hoping things would get better between me and Y/n but the tension is still there and now she's at the compound a lot, she's just taking Ivy with her.

- Natasha : Hey detka. I was hoping we could get lunch together as a family

- y/n : I promise Lena I'd get lunch with her

- Natasha : How about dinner?

- y/n : I'm actually going over to Tony and Pepper's for dinner but I guess I can-

- Natasha : Stop

- y/n : What?

- Natasha : You're losing me

- y/n : I don't understand

- Natasha : I know you don't. I need you to do something, pay attention to me, listen to my feelings. I keep asking myself if we're too far gone to bring back to life? Is our relationship dead? I gave you all my best me's and my endless empathy but you just ignore me. I know I was an ass but I'm trying but you won't let me show you that I'm trying. You walk past me at home and make so many plans without me, I just want to spend time with you. Do you want to get married at some point? I feel like you just said it to please me, you're a people pleaser after all. I need you to see me Y/n, see me and my needs. I need you to do, say, lose, risk, choose something, anything. I need us but I need you to give me a sign if you still want us

- y/n : Tasha-

- Natasha : It's simple, do you still love me?

- y/n : Of course I do. I just don't know how to face you. You abandoned me at my lowest, when I was crying because Ivy wouldn't stop crying, when I couldn't find the time to shower for a week, when Wanda moved in because I was exhausted and fell asleep while the stove was on. You're painting me to be the villain Nat when you've done just as much as I have

- Natasha : I didn't realise

- y/n : I know, I didn't want to worry you

- Natasha : We're a mess

- y/n : We're learning how to be a family of three instead of just a couple. It's going to be hard and we're going to argue but we need to communicate

- Natasha : We're both crap at that

- y/n : Yep, but for Ivy and our future kids, we need to get better at it

We need to learn how to communicate to save our family. I don't want Ivy to grow up switching between her Mom's houses.

- Natasha : Can I?

- y/n : She's your daughter too, you don't have to ask

- Natasha : Hey Ives. How are you? I bought your favourite toy

- Ivy : Maaaaa

- Natasha : She's almost there

- y/n : I know

- Natasha : What's wrong? Why are you crying?

- y/n : I miss you, I miss us

- Natasha : We're still here. We've just got to learn to love each other again

- y/n : Can I hug you?

- Natasha : Only if I can kiss you

I've been crappy, Y/n's been crappy. We've never done this before and we've got to adapt to not just looking after ourselves and each other but also to looking after Ivy.

- y/n : How about we ask Buck and Steve to babysit so we can have a date night?

- Natasha : I'd like that