Miss Little Perfect ( Hermione x Female Reader )

31: Battles To Be Won

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"I'm not dying, Mum.. you didn't have to fly all the way over here." mumbled Hermione who was laying on the hospital bed. She took in her surroundings, frowning as familiarity washed over her. She felt as though she really couldn't escape this place.

"You're lucky your dad has a business trip." spoke her mother with a raised eyebrow, wrinkles on her forehead from how hard her expression was. "If he found out.."

Hermione looked at her mother who let out a heavy sigh before meeting her daughter's eyes.

"You told us you stopped cheerleading. You told us that you dont partake in any physical activity. You told us that you're being careful with your sugar in-take. We didn't raise you to be a liar, Hermione."

Hermione averted her eyes down onto her lap, fidgeting with her fingers as a wave of guilt washed over her.

"We didn't give you everything just for you to be careless and throw your life away like this." sighed Mrs. Granger with a deep frown.

She didn't exactly have a passion for cheerleading. It was even a huge, unnecessary trouble for her. She was naturally slim, she didn't need the popularity, she didn't need the attention.

But at one point in highschool, when she was finally out of this hell hole, she wanted to spit at her illness's face. She wanted to do the things that her illness stopped her from doing. Was that so bad?

Hermione leaned back and rested her head on the pillow, fluttering her eyes close. "I want to take the treatment." she murmured in a finalized manner.

Mrs. Granger's eyebrow quirked up. "Don't be ridiculous. There's no point. The risk is too—"

"What's the point, Mum?" Hermione cutted her off, sitting upright as her features hardened. "Do I just wait till this stupid thing wins over me? Am I supposed to just lay here and watch all my friends move on with their lives just like in middle school?"

"I understand, dear... But the risk.."

"Damn the risk! I'm so sick of this already!"

"Therapy will—"

"Please, Mum." murmured Hermione in a tired tone. "I know you're just scared. I am too, but I'm tired. I'm strong, right? It's a far better risk than spending months in therapy just to be able to walk again.."

Mrs. Granger paused and took in her daughter's features. Her heart ached at the sight of the faded, ashy blonde hair, quite thinner than usual. Her daughter who resembled a sunflower, now wore a face paler than usual, and the bright smile nowhere to be seen.

"You're strong." affirmed her mother.

...

Depression isn't being emo and sad all the time, it's not always about self-harming, crying and locking yourself up in your room. It's not always about the feelings and voices exploding.

But it's sometimes a light switch that flicks off, and suddenly you don't feel anything. Your favourite things don't satisfy nor excite you anymore. You judge other people for feeling joy over simple things, but you also envy them.

You don't feel that sad when something upsets you, you just shrug it off. Sometimes, you just feel like an empty tired vessel devoid of any purpose.

That's what (Y/N) felt. The group of jocks and cheerleaders were still out exploring Switzerland, celebrating their win against the school they played against, bringing glory to NYU once again. But the junior snuck off to a cliff, sitting by the edge as she admired the greens and houses under.

She may appear calm, happy even, when everyone was around her. God, that's an understatement, she seemed to be the epitome of happiness. Everyone seemed to be unaware of the fact that (Y/N) felt like she was on survival mode, wondering if she'll make it through the day, wondering if she wanted to make it through the day.

Everyday felt like a test, some form of matter going against her everyday, testing her will to live.

(Y/N) had a happy life, a privileged one. So no one really expected her to feel this way.

(Y/N) felt as though depression resembled ocean waves, always present and alive just like the waves of the ocean.
Some days when the wind is strong, the waves match it's strength and comes crashing in and knocks out any life inside of you. Suddenly the most simple tasks ask more effort from you and you still can't comply.

On sunny days, the waves are calm and light, but it's still there. On these days you feel as though it's finally leaving you alone, but then you get reminded that weather is a constant change that affects the wave.

It felt as though falling off a cruise ship that's packed with people, and she's visibly sinking, yet not a single arm extending in sight.

(Y/N) fluttered her eyes, being met with the sun waving her a goodbye, dying behind the beautiful scenery.

She felt like the sunset.

Falling, sinking, drowning.

But the sun rises up the next day, doesn't it? And then you realise, it's shining just as bright as yesterday, perhaps even brighter! :)

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i hope anyone fighting depression gets the last line cause yall deserve everything