27||he knows

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"Here,"

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"Here,"

Raising my gaze from the sanctuary of my hands, I lock eyes with Kabir, gratitude emanating from my mouth, "Thank you," my voice emerges husky, fingers delicately encircling the ivory cup, cradling the steaming coffee within. Drawing the cup to my lips, I take a sip, the warmth cascading down my throat like a healing elixir, soothing the drieness within.

"Kiraz, he will be fine." Kabir says.

Why it is hard to believe. "Hmm," I take another sip.

"It was just an accident." He pesters. I take another sip, not caring to blow a breath, and in return giving me a sore tongue. I bite the tip of my tongue, to sooth down the numbing burn.

"Accidents happen. We really have no part to play in this," he continues, as I sip the coffee, "Even if we try to avoid them, they are bound to happen." I turn to him, halting his rambling, and as he gulps nervously, he stumbles over his words, "I mean..."

"Yeah, what do you really mean?" I question him, turning away from him, looking ahead at the closed door of Kaveri Auntie's room, where the doctor was checking up on Veer. Aunty, Navya, and Kavya were looking after it.

What I did? I scoff. Really, what I did?

"That Veer will be fine," he speaks after a pause. From the corner of my eye, I can see shivers running through his fingers, causing them to shake. We humans are such strange beings, offering comfort to others that we ourselves crave, even when their condition may not be worse than ours.

"Kabir," I stop drinking the warm coffee, worsening the soreness of my tongue, "What does it take to be good?"

"You are good-"

"Just hear me out," I gulp, and he falls silent.

"What does it really take to be good? I'm not even talking about perfection. That shit is fake. Here, I'm talking about being good. I've failed my parents, okay, I know it. I've failed as a sister, and I know it perfectly. I've failed as a wife and a lover. Okay, the word 'failure' has been painted too broadly for me to ignore in my mind. And I fucking accept it, I own up to it. But really, tell me, what does being good mean? Leave 'good,' just tell me what being 'fine' means."

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