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Life has brought me to this moment

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Life has brought me to this moment.

I gaze at Veer, rolling on the floor with his small toy car. My ears and cheek press against the cold wooden table of the dining room, my eyes fixed on my child, witnessing his growth.

It feels like just yesterday, cradling a small, fragile body in my arms, his face flushed red, veins visible, golden eyes blinking up at me, wisps of hair atop his head. It feels like yesterday when I brought him to this house. His first word, his first step, his mischiefs-everything replays before my eyes, but it all feels like yesterday.

He's growing every minute, every hour, and Reyansh is absent from it all.

A silent tear escapes my eyes, vanishing into my hairline. The files remain untouched, the laptop screen casting its glow on my face. I wipe away my tear, sitting up straight in my chair as I pull the laptop closer, focusing on typing the report.

The blare of my phone interrupts my concentration. I pick it up, eyes drawn to the flashing name on the screen.

Mom

I redirect my gaze to Veer, who's making vehicle sounds as he kneels on the floor, dragging his toy car across the table under the TV. "Veer, it's Granny calling," I announce.

He halts his car, turning to look at me. "Nanni?" he asks.

"Yes," I confirm, chuckling at his endearing way of addressing his grandmother. He rushes towards me, and I slide the answer icon, connecting the call and handing the phone to him. He scampers back to the sofa, climbing up and sitting beside Kabir.

I sigh, returning to my monotonous work. I can't blame it; it's the only thing that pulls me away from the shadowy thoughts lurking in my mind, ready to engulf me as soon as they find an opening.

As I type, my finger pauses at the letter 'R,' and my eyes dart towards the letter 'K.' Trying to distance myself from the past has changed me, but it's also brought out a negative trait: overthinking. It's suffocating, drowning me in unnecessary thoughts.

I forget the lesson life has taught me: it's okay to delve into your thoughts, a trait of human mind. But letting them consume you is the real problem. What matters is whether that thought will benefit your tomorrow, next year, or ever.

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