The funhouse of murder • Stray Kids X reader

104 ☠️

Did I fall asleep? I glanced around me, the room completely dark. Though the bickering had finally seemed to have stopped, there was a sound that bothered me even more. Though it was barely audible, I could tell someone was crying. The corners of my mouth dropped. Was it Jeongin again? I couldn't blame him with everything going on. Not only did we just lose two more of our own, the entire group was falling apart. Though I for a second debated just continuing to sleep, I couldn't allow myself to. That would be cruel. With a groan I finally threw the blanket off me, getting out of bed, trying my best to avoid Chan and Hyunjin's belongings, which had been scattered through the room. I wondered where they would be sleeping now.

I opened the door as quietly as I could, trying to follow where the sound was coming from. Seeing Chan soundly sleeping on the couch, I tiptoed past him, trying my best not to wake him as I walked up to the stairs. Though I was about to call out Jeongin's name, watching Hyunjin's figured all curled up as he hugged his knees was more of a shock to me. Ever since the mirror maze he had been cold, almost emotionless besides the occasional irritation and anger, so seeing him like this was all but what I had expected. "Hyun..jin?" I asked softly, making sure to keep some distance. The words he said to me last night were still imprinted in my mind after all.

I'm afraid that if I get any closer I can't stop myself from wanting you too much. I'm going crazy at just seeing you together with anyone else, I think I might just be obsessed with you.

His head shot up, though it was hard to tell in the dark, he clearly had been the one crying. "Leave me alone," he snarled, turning his head away from me. But how could I? No, we weren't close, not in the slightest. I still didn't know what to think of him, but I knew those words. The words you told everyone who tried to reach out when you were at your lowest, to make sure they wouldn't see you so vulnerable. The words you said when deep down you wanted to beg them to stay and help. I didn't say a word, but simply sat down across from him, making sure to keep some space between us. He finally looked back at me as he noticed I wasn't leaving. "Didn't you hear me?" he grunted. "Perfectly," I answered him, keeping my eyes on him.

"I don't know what's going on with you, and quite frankly I still don't know how to act or think around you, but nobody deserves to be crying alone." Though he tried to argue that he wasn't crying, even he knew it would be of no use. Instead, everything he had been holding in came out even more, his quiet sobs now turning into wailing. I could feel a shiver sent down my spine, unsure of how to react. Even in the mirror maze, when everything seemed to get back to him, he didn't cry. So what was going on? "I can't do this anymore," he cried out, his hands gripping his hair tightly. "I can't take it," he reiterated.

"What was I supposed to do? I'm just trying to get through life too, and yes, I mess up at times! Yes, I make mistakes, but doesn't everyone? Why am I the one to get all the blame for it? I'm just trying to survive, just like everyone else," he whimpered. "Of course I didn't mean to kill Da-Hye or her friends. It was an accident. I was just trying to defend myself. How was I supposed to know grabbing the broken bottle out of her hand would result in it hitting her artery? Or how else was I supposed to tell Jeongin? He was the only one who still saw good in me, I couldn't disappoint him. And now, just like everyone else, without hearing my side, he's left me too, stabbed me in the back! Even Chan seems wary of me, and you too seem to be afraid of me, if not hate me completely."

He moved his hands to his face, covering his eyes to hide the tears. "Of course everything hurts for me too. Of course I'm upset that we already lost four of us. Of course I get emotional too, but I've just been trying to hide it. I tried everything, I tried to talk about it, but nobody believed me, so I just pushed it all down. I thought if I didn't feel anything, or at least didn't allow myself too, it would all go away, but it's eating me away. I tried to start anew, both at a new school, and now through this place, but everywhere I go, people seem to hate me already. I'm never going to get the life I want... I can't deal with this anymore. I just want it all to be over with, but I don't know how. I even thought, that maybe..." he paused, looking outside, only now making me notice the door had been open all this time, as well as how close he was to it.

Without thinking, I pushed myself off the ground, instead going over to Hyunjin, hugging him tightly. For a small moment, I could see myself in him. He was just trying to survive, like we all were. He was just trying to figure out how. "I don't hate you. I believe you. You don't have to bottle up your feelings, it's okay to let them out. I know it's hard to find your way through, but let's get out of this mess together, shall we? If we stay together, I'm sure we can figure it all out." Hyunjin hummed, continuing to cry in my arms.

"I'm glad it's you I fell for after all."