All the bad things {18+}

Reality Check |21

Seeing their bright faces as they cooed over it was a disgusting sight to see. Ignorant of my pain and congratulating Lomonosov for his work while it was me whose body swelled for months.

I wasn't very big on having kids, it made little sense but on the occasion i ever did, i wanted a loving husband and a nice home. I wanted to, for some reason, glow?
Have a nice maternity shoot and be a good mother to my child.
Reality had it's plans.
I had a nice home, outwardly....it would seem, but this place was rotten to the core.

This wasn't what baba would've wanted, this isn't what i wanted. I was miserable, the child beside me who cried out for my attention an anchor to a prison i could not escape from.
I was handed the child, i hated it. The way it reached out for me to give it comfort was sickening.

Having to breastfeed my enemies' child was a humiliating experience. Men and women I didn't know, hunched over my bed and watching. Cooing at the next beast to walk this planet.
This babbling child could turn out like it's father, even worse if these people got a hold of it.
Were babies always these gross, parasitic creatures with bald skin, chapped lips and little knowledge but to depend on people for survival?

I close my eyes, stifling any groan or hiss of pain that threatened to leave my mouth due to breastfeeding.
A corner of the room was stacked, filled with gifts for the child, a huge 5 foot blue teddy bear the centre piece....the most unmissable object.

In any other scenario i would have loved it all, but these people stripped me of everything i owned and disregarded my dignity as a person, now they stand over me like I'm god's gift to them.

The leave one by one, leaving their final regards.
Lomonosov and i remain.
"We haven't given him a name."
"Name him what you want."
"So damn nonchalant."

"You, name him. You have something in mind, i on the other hand, do not." I set the baby beside me as it drifts off to sleep.

"Aleksandr. Leonid, Andrei. You pick." He approaches me, his hands in his pockets.
"Andrei. That one is fine."
He smiles and sits beside me. "What about a name from your country?"

"Kenechukwu. Kain for short."
"What does it mean?"

"Thank God."
Yes, thank god that i was going to get my freedom soon.
He picks up the child, smiling at it. To be honest it seemed to look more like him the only feature of mine it carried was darker hair with a slight curl to it.

"Andrei Kenechukwu Lomonosov." He stares proudly at the child. "This place is getting cramped up. We should move his things to the nursery."

There was a nursery, yes. Due to his paranoia the child stayed with me, as if i was any better or above smothering the child myself if left to my own devices.

"Lomonosov, for the safety of your child....on no occasion should it be left alone with me." I didn't want to be that cruel but given half the chance, that baby wouldn't live past the week.

"Why?" One look at me tells him all he needs to know. "That can be arranged, I'll tell Gretel and Essa."
He puts him down into his crib.

"When do i start getting my life back?" I look up at him. "My companies, my money?"

"Soon."
"That's too vague." I protest. "That isn't what we agreed on."
"I don't care, we have a kid now and we have to raise him."
"That isn't what we agreed on Lomonosov, i should be out of here when it's matured enough to survive without me."

"How old is that hmm?" He turns sharply, taking long strides before gripping my chin. "OUR damn baby needs us both....just imagine, telling him that his mother ran off into the sunset."
"Just imagine telling him his father is a sadist and a rapist." I spit out angrily.
"You consented, don't turn this around."
"Are you scared? After killing Mikhail—"
"Don't speak of that bastard." He lets go of me.

"Or What?! What will you do?!" I scream at him. "What haven't you done, could you be any worse?!"

We are stopped by the cries of the little thing as it gets woken up by out argument.
"You've woken him." Lomonosov looks at me, trying to make me feel guilty.

I turn to my side.
"At least give him some attention."
"I don't care!"
"Why are you so damn difficult?!" He grits out.
"Fuck you!" I let the tears run free. "Fuck all of this! I hate you and that damn parasite!"

"He is just a child, our child!"

"I don't care! I don't care! I don't CARE!" I scream the last part out more forcefully. "I don't care about you and your damned baby!" I struggle with the tears and a dry throat.

Essa barges in as it's cries intensify. Taking away the baby she leaves us alone again.

"I'll make you eat your words." Lomonosov get's up from where he was leaning against and goes straight for the door. "I don't know why I've been acting as though we are bound by some contract. To hell with your shit!"

I hear his cursing in the distance as the door slams behind me.

I try to get up but I can't......not without any assistance.

"Lomonosov! Lomonosov!!" I scream out after him. I know what he wants to do, I'm screwed. He'll probably kick me out, I've done my part....what else does he want from me?

.............................

"Good morning miss." The sound of my door opening wakes me up with a start.
"You must be hungry."

I see Gretel as opposed to Essa.
"Where's Essa?"

"Attending to Andrei." She pours me some gooey stuff.
"It's great for postpartum." She urges despite my foul expression.
I take it from her, it's not pleasant at all however she gives me food that i can actually eat.

"Why do you hate him?" Gretel asks.
"Who?" My voice muffled by the food in my mouth.
"Your husband......even your son." She pauses as she pours me some tea. "You seem to bear much disdain for the both of them."

"Have you ever been forced to have a baby?"
I look her straight in the face.
"Has the love of your life been killed in front of you and you, taken away to marry a man you hate, your inheritance liquidated and forced to spend a year locked in a house, confined to only three spaces?"

I feel a tear run down my cheek. I didn't have the strength to suck it up.

"I'm sorry dear.....where are your parents?"
"They're dead...I don't have anyone." I drop the piece of bread in my hand. "No one at all."

There is a moment of exchanged silence before I get back to eating, the only sounds in the room were the silverware clinking against the dishes.

I still think..........I'm left wondering even. What if he left me with Mikhail? What if Mikhail was still alive?