Silver Lining

fifteen.

'I've realised something in the last two weeks of Nathan being back at work, something I don't want to admit but have to. I trust this is a safe space though...'

I look up from my journal when I hear the front door open, meaning Nathan's finally home. I put pen to paper and mentally tell myself to make this quick.

'I miss Nathan

He's been away only a little over twenty-four hours, but I missed him so much. His home games are fine, I see him when he comes home at night, he greets the babies, we crash on the sofa and he tells me about the game. But when he leaves New York? That's when I miss him, I worry for him and count down the minutes until he's back, and it's not like I can message him constantly - I refuse to show how desperate I am.

It's been two weeks, the preseason is finally over and we're almost into our second week of October, with the regular hockey season hitting off on Tuesday. Me and the girls have him until then.'

I close my journal, putting it away in my bedside drawer and I creep down the stairs, wanting to surprise him. His back is to me, sitting on the sofa and his luggage is on the floor in the kitchen. I tip-toe over, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders from behind.

"Missed me?" he grins, tilting his head upwards.

"In your dreams," I whisper, holding on still.

"I'll let you believe so, but come and give me an actual hug because despite you not missing me, I've missed you," he opens his arms and I smile, walking around the sofa and climb into his arms. "Sure act like someone who's missed me."

"You're not going to drop it, are you?" I look up at him, and he shakes his head.

"I've missed the little ones too," he lifts my shirt, putting his large hand on my bump. "Your mommy keeps lying to me, but at least daddy can see through it."

I slap his hand away and lay on his chest, getting comfortable.

"The kids will be home in an hour, do you have the energy to go pumpkin picking with us?" he asks.

"Barely, but for them, yes," I answer.

"Good, I'm glad."

"I was thinking," I look at him, changing the topic, "If it's okay with you, of course, but when you have your home games, do you want me to look after the girls? It means that Laura doesn't have to come over and break up her night when I'm here anyway. I know their routine, I have your family numbers, but if that's stepping over the line, I understand, Nath."

"If you want to, I'm not going to say no because you're incredible with them, but, sweetheart you don't have to," he makes sure to say the latter.

"I know," I nod, "It would only be on your home games, I'll be alone with them for six hours at the most, and for three of those they'll be asleep."

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"I'd love to, and it'll be easier for Laura, she can stay home. We have dinner with you anyway, all I have to do is observe bath time, watch movies with them and make sure their homework is done," bedtime is a pretty easy job. "And I get to greet you when you come home."

"God, the day I get to kiss you..." he tilts his head back with a whine, "You slowly kill me each day, Rhodes."

"It may be sooner than you think, Fields, I may surprise you," I say and he looks back down at me.

"I'm wearing sweatpants be careful of what you say," he warns me with a cheeky grin.

"A kiss is going to give you a boner?" I raise my brows.