Her

Chapter 22

I woke up in the middle of the night because my phone was going off. I had a text message waiting for me from Aiden.  I was pissed because I was sleeping and now he decides to respond?

You need to calm down. I told you I was helping my neighbor.

What is wrong with you? One day I don't spend every second with you and you lose your shit on me? Not cool. -Aiden

I glared at the bright screen and put it back on the charger. This wasn't like him at all. My Aiden is understanding, laid back, and definitely updates me on everything because he knows my anxiety eats me alive sometimes. I closed my eyes and tried going back to sleep. I struggled; tossed and turned until I eventually fell asleep.

I was sitting in an empty room by myself. A few seconds later, things started to become clearer in the room. A couch, windows, sheer curtains swaying from the wind entering the room. Suddenly, Aiden appeared and walked right past me, as if I didn't even exist. I tried reaching out to him, but he still didn't notice me.

He walked up to the couch and took a seat next to a beautiful woman that was already sitting down. My stomach fell to my feet. I was going to be sick.

And then it was clear: Aiden didn't notice me, or he just didn't see the good in me anymore. His attention was on this other woman. My anxiety was telling me that this "neighbor" of his was actually a cover up for his new lover.

I finally woke up and escaped from that nightmare. I was covered in sweat and my sheets were soaked. I reached for my phone, expecting new messages but it was the same texts I got from Aiden. I ignored them. I didn't like this at all. I didn't want to argue with him. I couldn't help the feelings of anxiety. I felt like I was already losing him.

So the next week went like this: Aiden and I didn't talk. We were mad at each other. Or, he was just mad at me, and I didn't want to add fire to the situation by arguing. I was hoping, deep inside that Aiden would text me or call me apologizing. Anything to clear this weird energy in the air lingering between us. But nothing. I guess he just didn't care.

There was a positive thing going on in my life. Just one thing. I didn't have to see Elena, because she hasn't been in school for weeks. I heard rumors going around: that she moved, switched schools, etc. All that matters is that she's gone. 

I was hanging out with Cindy at her house one evening after school. We weren't best friends anymore, not like in middle school. But we did have a solid friendship. We hung out at least a few times a week. She uplifted me and my confidence. And since I was now associated with her, I was finally becoming popular. 

And since Elena was no longer around, I was stealing her spotlight. She couldn't out do me anymore. It was finally my time to shine. It would've been better if Aiden was by my side. And we weren't broken up, at least not to my knowledge. We just didn't talk for a while.

All the popular kids wanted to talk to me. I had so much confidence that I just looked better. I got a new wardrobe, thanks to Cindy and her other friends. I was sitting with the popular kids. I was finally something to this school. 

Just as I was thinking about him, I got a text. Cindy went to the bathroom and I was alone in her room. Aiden texted me, and told me he wanted to see me later. My heart was racing. I thought he gave up on me. But I guess things were okay now. I had a lot of questions for him, but I was going to start off slow and easy. I didn't want to scare him off again. But I couldn't help but think how weird it was for him to blow up on me over something so small. One little argument turned into days without speaking to each other. Something just wasn't right.

Around 8pm, I was at my house waiting for Aiden to arrive. I waited by the front door, peering out to watch for his car. Bright headlights blinded me, and he pulled into the driveway. I let out a sigh of relief as I unlocked the front door and stood there.

He slowly walked up to me after shutting his car door. Something was off about him, and I couldn't tell what it was. His energy was different. His eyes were different. He was different.

"Hi." I said and pulled my lips into a smile. He slowly hugged me as he met me on the porch. 

"Hey." He hugged me. He pulled away for a second to look at me. then he kissed me.  I missed him so much.

He followed me inside and we sat on the couch. Finally, he broke the awkward minute of silence to tell me something.

"I'm sorry. Everything's been crazy." He told me.

I was fidgeting with my necklace as I searched for the right words.

"It's just.. why didn't you speak to me for so long? Over that? I mean, you know I get worried. I just don't understand." I explained, and he looked annoyed or frustrated. I couldn't tell.

"A lot has happened. And, I was just trying to find the words to tell you. To explain. This isn't easy." He scratched his head. I was getting nervous, in the pit of my stomach.

"You have to promise me, that you'll just listen to me, okay? Don't freak out." He said. I was already freaking out, on the inside.

I just nodded.

"My neighbor isn't a dude. It's a girl. And something happened to her, and I was the only one there for her. I helped her. And I don't know, things happened. I didn't plan for any of this to happen. I'm sorry Stella." He explained, and I started spacing out. The room felt far away from me. Aiden felt far away from me. His words were fading out. I was about to have a panic attack.

"What are you telling me?" I mustered up the courage to ask. 

"She tried to kill herself. That's why the ambulance and cops were there that day you came over. I saw it myself. It wasn't just once, it was two times. She was in a very dark place, and I was the only one to help. I stayed with her. Her family wasn't around. No friends either. For someone so popular, you'd think she'd at least have one person.." He went on. I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair.

"You're talking about fucking Elena, aren't you?" I couldn't see Aiden through my blurry eyes, dripping with tears. My life is a fucking movie. A sad, zero star-rated movie. 

Aiden didn't say anything. His eyes told me everything.

"What the fuck, Aiden!" I yelled. I was starting to see red. Everything was right in front of me and I still didn't see it.

"Look, that's why I didn't tell you anything. Shit just happened and I'm confused. I don't fucking know, Stella. Come on. I told you that we shouldn't have gotten back together. You wanted this." Aiden argued back.

I was a crying mess on the floor. Every time I feel like shit is going well, this happens. I don't think there's any reason for me to be happy, not anymore.

"Maybe I should kill myself so you can give a fuck about me. Get the fuck out of my house." I demanded, and I didn't even recognize my own voice.

"You ever think about anyone else but yourself, Stella? You hate this girl for no reason. She tried killing herself. I helped her. What did you want, me to just let her die?" He stood up.

"Yeah. Maybe that's what I want." I snapped. "Get the fuck out."

Aiden stormed out and drove away. I fell to the floor, crying again. And I'm all alone. He didn't have to tell me everything, nothing more. He chose Elena over me. He loves me. What else could he possibly mean by, 'things just happened?' I was a fucking wreck. No more Aiden. I lost my best friend and my boyfriend in a matter of seconds. I lost him to Elena.