Her

Chapter 5

A few weeks had passed. I was in school, and we were all piled in the gymnasium for a pep rally. The loud noises and voices and instruments being played by the school's band started to give me a headache. I was sitting with my class and of course, I didn't have any friends in that class to talk to. My eyes wandered around the bleachers, seeing if I recognize anyone. My eyes stopped on her, sitting with a bunch of other popular kids, all of them laughing and having a great time.

I knew that being jealous of someone else wouldn't make myself any better. But my mind couldn't stop comparing myself. I just wanted to be like her so bad. I wanted to be her.

Later that day, I got off the school bus and walked towards my house with a heavy textbook in my arms. I didn't have any plans today, or any day of that matter. I trailed inside and saw my dad snoring on the couch in front of the TV. That was pretty typical of him.

After doing my math homework, I put my folder and textbook away and sighed. I looked in the mirror. I nearly jumped out of my skin at what I noticed in my reflection.

A huge red blemish appeared on my face. I was horrified. A pimple? Already? Why does this have to happen to me? I didn't notice it earlier.

I frowned. I couldn't help how insecure I was. It was so noticeable and unappealing. It was embarassing.

I went downstairs to play on the computer. I decided to scroll through social media because there was nothing else to do. This computer was the only way I could go online because I couldn't with my flip phone. I rested my chin on my hand as I used the other hand to scroll with the mouse. A few posts and pictures from other kids in my school popped up. But then one post caught my eye in particular--and you could've guessed it--Elena.

It was a thread of pictures cluttered into one post. The first picture was of Elena posing in front of the camera with her lips sticking out and one of her eyes closed. There didn't seem to be a filter over it; she was naturally beautiful. Her hair was in loose curls and she wore a necklace with a pink heart pendant. It seemed to have been recently taken. Another picture in the thread was of her and another girl who I'm assuming is her friend. The rest of the pictures in the thread were various poses and the two of them having a fun time at the movies.

Curious, I clicked on the little square picture of Elena, her profile icon. Tons of her posts and pictures popped up. I never really looked through her profile before, I just followed her a while back. I started browsing the pictures, growing extremely jealous of her seemingly perfect life.

It felt like hours of me scrolling, inspecting every single picture and post. It seemed as if I was learning more and more about her life the more that I looked. She had many friends, and a perfect family life. She posted pictures of her aunt and uncle taking her to the islands for a vacation which looked so fun. But it wasn't just that. She had loads of pictures with her mom and dad, displaying how close they are and how much fun they have. She had countless pictures of them on cruises, vacations, celebrating holidays, going out. She was very close with her parents and they had a great relationship. Of course, another thing that I have to get jealous over. The hundreds of pictures and posts about her family made me realize how much my family and I don't spend enough time together. Except when I went to the mall with my sister, but even then we didn't do anything besides shop for clothes.

"Stella? Are you down here?" That was my mother's voice coming from the top of the stairs.

"Yeah." I replied, snapping out of my trance and intense focus on Elena's profile.

I heard my mom's footsteps coming down the stairs until she reached the basement.

"I need to use the computer. You've used it long enough." She said, gently itching her arm.

"Oh. Sorry." I replied, and logged off. I got up and my mom took a seat at the computer desk. She began typing up an email of some kind.

"Do.. do you want to watch a movie with me tonight?" I asked, surprising myself.

My mother looked at me and titled her head, I guess she was confused too. My parents and I never did anything and I was serious when I said that.

"How about another time?" She told me, and I frowned. Every time I wanted to do something with my own mother or father, they were both too busy to. Or they just didn't feel like it.

I walked back up the stairs, sighing in defeat. I just wished things were differently, and I wished I didn't feel like this every day. Believe me, comparing myself to Elena every single day of my life is not my goal. In fact, I hated it. But it was almost as if she wasn't real; like she was a spirit or hologram sent to me just to remind me of what I could've been. How my life could've went differently, a polar opposite of me. It's like she was mocking me, and I couldn't shake this terrible feeling off of me.