Her

Chapter 17

As I woke up the next morning, memories of the horrible night flooded into my mind. I was no longer drunk, just very hungover and tired. Realization hit me. I fucking kissed Elena. What on Earth possessed me last night? And to Aiden, it seemed like it wasn't a big deal and it was just a silly little mistake. Except it wasn't. It was the worst mistake I could've made.

I absolutely dreaded that morning ride to school. As I parked in my spot and headed towards the doors, my legs were getting weak. What awaits me behind those doors?

I walked in, and so far, no one's looking at me. That's a great start. My social anxiety tells me that everyone knows, and everyone is staring at me. I tried my best to shove those thoughts away. It's not true.

I made my way to my locker, and retrieved my books before heading to my home room. Once I got to my class, I spotted Elena and my heart dropped. Of course she sits directly in front of me. She looked up at me, and quickly averted her eyes. She's probably uncomfortable around me now. I quietly made my way to my desk, behind her, and took out my notebook.

Mrs. Silver started writing on the whiteboard when Ryan, the asshole sitting next to me, lightly kicks my desk to get my attention.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked, clearly not in the mood.

"You and her, right?" He whispered. My heart dropped. He was looking over at Elena, in front of me as she began writing her notes.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I dismissed him and ignored him as I copied the assignment from the board.

"Well, I do." He laughed. The teacher shushed him as she continued writing.

Halfway through the class, Elena got up to use the bathroom. Ryan decided to get my attention again when I obviously was done with that conversation.

"She told everyone what you did at that party. Like, everyone." Ryan wouldn't stop.

"Can you just leave me alone?" I snapped. I caught the attention of a few other students, and Mrs. Silver.

"Is there a problem?" She asked.

"No." I replied. I looked over at Ryan once more, who had an arrogant look on his face. I just wanted the whole day to be over already, and it's only 7 A.M. 

Between classes, I ran to the bathroom and cried in one of the stalls. I always feel like there's something to cry about. Especially when everything's going so well, and I fuck it up by doing something stupid. I keep reminding myself: no more alcohol. Ever. Actually, I could use a drink right now. 

I heard the door open and someone else walked in. I blew my nose with toilet paper and flushed it. I walked out, and I saw a certain someone standing in front of the mirror. She looked over at me. I definitely looked like shit. My eyes were probably puffy and red. Cindy, my ex-best friend from years ago, was standing there. We haven't talked in forever, but I've heard her laugh at me in the halls and talk shit about me. Oh, how things change.

"You okay?" She asked me.

"Like you care." I said, walking passed her and leaving the room.

She followed me out of the bathroom. "Why are you such a bitch, Stella? This is why.." She stopped herself. 

"This is why what?" I asked.

"This is why I cut you off. You're so rude. Yeah, we're not friends anymore, but I was just asking if you were okay. You need to stop acting like you're better than everyone."

I just laughed. "Aren't you a little too popular to be saying that to me? To be talking to me at all? Goodbye." I walked away from her, losing her in a crowd of people.

The whole day, I could feel eyes on me. I felt like I was in a typical high school drama movie, where I was the laughingstock and everyone was laughing at me. The only good part of my day was seeing Aiden for lunch. We sat at our table, and he cracked jokes and made me laugh. He put a smile on my face. Something about him was so charming and comforting.

"So, you seem a little quiet today. What's the matter?" He asked.

"You didn't hear?" I had my face down, staring at my tray of food. "I can feel everyone looking at me."

He looked around the cafeteria, then back at me. "I don't see anyone looking. What are you talking about?" 

"Nothing. I don't know. Everyone's talking about what I did at that party." I replied in a low voice.

"Fuck everyone. They don't matter. They'll forget about it in a few days. Don't let it wear you down." Aiden told me.

"I wish it was that easy."

"It is. Just live your life, if you see anyone staring at you or saying anything messed up, tell them to fuck off. It's worked for me over the years." Aiden said before taking a drink of his Gatorade.

Aiden had this attitude about life, like he didn't care and he wasn't here to please anyone. I liked that about him. I didn't know how to live so carelessly. I felt a lot better after him saying that. It seemed like the weight on my shoulder wasn't so heavy anymore.

After school, I headed straight home to take a nap. My head was pounding from the alcohol the previous night and I couldn't wait any longer to sleep. I woke up two hours later, to my phone dinging with notification sounds. I looked at the bright screen to see three texts from Aiden.

He was asking me how I was doing, if I was feeling better, and if I wanted to hangout tonight. I was half asleep and surprised to get any messages at all. I felt like shit, so I wasn't sure if I wanted to hangout tonight. Or go out at least. I let him know, and he offered to come over and watch movies with me.

I threw the covers off of me, looking down at my outfit I wore to school earlier. I took a quick shower and changed into sweatpants and a tank top. I looked at my appearance in the mirror. I looked like a bum, and I had no makeup on so of course I felt horrendous-looking. Just as I was about to apply a little bit of concealer to my dark circles, there was a knock on the door. 

"Hey." I said, smiling. I wish I looked better. I don't even know why I care about my appearance in front of him. We're just friends. I doubt he finds me attractive anyways.

"I brought snacks." He held up a bag of random chips and cookies. "Fire up that Netflix and let's go." 

"I only have Hulu." I replied, laughing. He just shrugged his shoulders and followed me into my room.

Half an hour later, we were watching Bob's Burgers on my laptop, eating chips and talking about random stuff. I realized that I was happy, right there with him. He knew I was sad and he cheered me up, coming over to give me company and just be here for me. I'm not used to having people around me. I'm always alone, just me and my thoughts. It felt good to have him here with me.