Where Hearts Might Heal

Chapter 7

******* Content Warning: This chapter also mentions a sexual act done while intoxicated and nude photos taken without consent. It mentions a possible sexual assault. All done in the past. I'll put another warning before those parts. *******

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I'd think about telling Beck what really happened with Mark. I just didn't want him to get all protective over me or do something he'd end up regretting. I knew he would. That was just the way he was. He was so protective over me that he'd get mad and react before fully thinking something through. I didn't want him to look at me differently. I didn't want him to think I was some vulnerable girl that needed protecting. I wasn't. I had let what Mark did hold me back. I was kicked out of the band for it because they didn't want someone like me. I hadn't picked up a flute since.

I joined a soccer team to help with my anger towards everybody. It helped me play better. That's the only reason they let me on that team. I could run circles around all the other players. They hadn't wanted me on the team, but they had to at least give me a chance. After the owner of the place saw me play, he demanded that I be put on the team or he'd find another coach. He was tired of losing at the games. Playing soccer helped me deal with everything that was going on. It was my escape.

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I took a deep breath as I walked up to the apartment Beck had rented. It was only about five miles from Jay's house and the school. I grabbed Jay's hand for support. After we'd talked a little more at Marcy's, he'd finally convinced me to tell Beck the full story of what happened with Mark. He promised to stay beside me the whole time. Jay gave me an encouraging smile as he knocked on the door. Beck blinked when he opened it. I guess he wasn't expecting me. Couldn't blame him. I wasn't planning on coming.

"We need to talk." I whispered. He nodded then stepped over to let us in. Jay and I sat on one couch while Beck sat across from us. I fidgeted nervously. Jay put his hand over mine.

"It'll be okay." He whispered. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"I think I should tell you what really happened with Mark." I started. Beck shifted looking slightly uncomfortable. I took another deep breath, closed my eyes, then told Beck about what Mark had done. How he'd played me. How he'd used me. How he'd lied to me. I told him everything I'd told Jay.

When I finished and opened my eyes, Beck was sitting across from me as tense as I'd ever seen him. "Why didn't you tell me?" He finally asked. I looked down.

"I didn't want to bother you. You had just left. I didn't want you to think I was some vulnerable girl who needed her big brother to protect her." I admitted. Beck sighed.

"But you did need your big brother." He whispered. I opened my mouth to argue. "I didn't say you were vulnerable. You're not. I'm just saying that you did need me. I should have been there for you." I moved to hug him.

"You're here now." I mumbled. He hugged me tightly.

"Good thing I didn't talk to the coach for him yet. I knew with the way you acted that I didn't have the full story. I couldn't put in a good word for him if I didn't know the whole story." Beck told me.

"It's okay. If you want to put in a good word for him then do it. You know, if he's a good player." I whispered. Beck pulled back and made a face.

"That would be like rewarding him for what he did to you. He has to learn that it's not okay to do that. You can't just take pictures of girls when they're drunk or even if they gave you permission, you can't just put them all over the internet." Beck said. I just looked away from him, knowing he was right. "I'm going to talk to the coach about it tomorrow. I'd like it if you came with me since you're the one it happened to." He added. I gave Jay a pleading look. He gave me a small smile and grabbed my hand as he nodded.