After a few minutes of keeping the make-up on his face, at Shi Qingxuan's request, He Xuan demands for the make-up wipes. Taking a long while before the make-up caked on his face is finally off. He sighs in relief once any sign of make-up disappears. This causes Shi Qingxuan to chuckle, "Is the prospect of having any form of make-up on yourself really so bad?" As they doll themselves up with the make-up. Nothing too crazy, just some light eyeshadow and lipstick.
He Xuan shrugs, "I don't mind doing skin care stuff, but make-up is not my thing." Shi Qingxuan hums in understanding. When they are happy with how they look, they pat at the clothes they have on before leaning back, "I kind of feel like a proper schoolgirl now." Not knowing how else to respond to this comment, he says, "I'm glad you like it." They smile fondly, "Thank you." Before they are interrupted by both phones going off in texts. Knowing the drill, they both grab their phones and read off what texts they have.
Unknown Number:
Truth For Both: Either one of you ever thought about crossdressing?
He Xuan raises an eyebrow at this. Really? Someone must be running out of ideas if they are asking out of the blue questions like this. Then again Shi Qingxuan was made to put make-up on him so maybe it isn't so random. Either way he knows what answer he's going to give. So without hesitation he answers, "Not in this life anytime soon." Shi Qingxuan chuckles at this before asking with a mischievous smile, "But did you ever crossdress in your past life?" He frowns at this.
Knowing that Shi Qingxuan is not going to drop it, he tells them, "I vaguely remember a mission that needed me to be a woman to infiltrate and gain information, so yes I did in my past life." Not mentioning the fact that it was at Shi Qingxuan's incessant pestering when they both went out on assignments at the will of the heavens. Shi Qingxuan looks excited at hearing this information. They then ask, "What was the mission about?" He shrugs, "I don't remember that part." Which is true. It's become a bit of a blur of the amount of times he changed into his feminine form to appease Shi Qingxuan while they went out. With a mischievous look back on their face, they ask, "Never did it for pleasure in the past?" He glowers at them, "Your pushing luck, Qingxuan." They just laugh, "Lighten up, I'm just teasing." Slapping their hand on his shoulder.
He just tells them, "Shouldn't you be answering your half of the question?" They playfully huff, "Boo, you're no fun." Before they sit back. Then a thought pops in He Xuan's head, so he asks aloud, "Wait, does it even count if you're changing your appearance to match your headspace?" He can visibly see how this question throws Shi Qingxuan off. Due to the surprised expression they have on their face before it changes into one of contemplation. They absentmindedly say, "I don't know." Before looking like they are thinking further on the question.
After some time they say, "I mean, maybe some people might see it as crossdressing, but to me I just think of it as expressing what gender I currently am in my headspace." He Xuan is also struggling to try and think if what they currently do counts or not. Letting out a sigh of frustration they turn to face the camera watching them, "Hey Crimson, can I just say maybe or I don't know. I'm genderfluid, so this is a question I can't really answer well." A few seconds pass before Shi Qinguxan's phone beeps in a text. Grabbing their phone, they quickly open the message app. He Xuan looking over their shoulder to see how "Crimson" will answer.
Unknown Number:
As long as you give any form of answer it doesn't matter.
Out of the corner of his eye he sees Shi Qingxuan have the same deadpan expression he has on his own face at this answer. "Totally not a vague answer whatsoever." They sarcastically say as they put their phone away. They then sigh again before throwing their hands up in the air, "Whatever, I'm just going to say maybe I'd consider crossdressing. Cause I don't know how else to answer." He Xuan just shrugs while saying, "I mean, that's the best answer I could come up with myself." They only sigh again before laying down on the ground.
Neither of them say anything for a long while. Shi Qingxuan is the one to break it in the end, "I don't like thinking about questions like that." He Xuan stays silent as he lets them say what they need to get out. "It makes me feel uncomfortable when people think about my gender identity as something phase oriented like crossdressing. Because this isn't a phase, it's who I am. I'm not going to wake up one day and claim myself to always be a boy from now on. Nor am I going to do the same for a girl, both, or nothing." They then turn on their side as they hug themselves. With a whisper they finish off with, "I just wish some people weren't just so hung up on trying to force gender labels onto people like me." Slowly, so as not to startle Shi Qingxuan, He Xuan places a gentle hand on their shoulder.
When the other doesn't shrug off the contact, He Xuan says, "If people are giving you a hard time about you being who you are, then they can just go fuck themselves." That brings a wet chuckle out of Shi Qingxuan, as he finishes with, "You have people who accept you, so ignore those assholes who don't. They aren't worth your tears." A second passes before they turn their head to see He Xuan, their eyes watery from unshed tears. Inhaling deeply, they say, "You're right. I have you and Lian, and all others in my inner circle that care about me. Especially when the occasional dysphoria hits." He gives them a half smile, "You got that right." Before moving the back of his hand to caress their cheek.
أنت تقرأ
Truth and Dare
قصص الهواةAfter all that He Xuan has put Shi Qingxuan through, past and present, he resigns himself to keep silent about his feelings for the other. However, fate has always been a tricky thing when it comes to these two. So after waking up and being forced...
