The Cullen Effect

Moved Or Moving On

It almost seemed as if it was a dream. Time had slowed to a stop and nobody was there but him. The man who you had loved to no end was here. Right in front of you.

He clears his throat and politely excuses himself, walking away from you. Starstruck, you turn after him, watching him walk towards the nurse. "Nurse Anne, sorry for my rudeness. I was a bit lost in thought." He smiles at the younger nurse. She smiles back and shifts her weight onto one foot, putting the other one behind her and twirling her hair. "It's alright Dr. Cullen.." as they start up a short conversation, you can't help but continue to stare at the man in front of you. 'He's here..right in front of me.' You can't stop thinking about it. This was really unbelievable.

Your staring continued until you felt a slight nudge from your right. Turning to the side, you see one of your classmates asking if you were alright. Nodding your head, you turn back to the front, only to see Carlisle walking ahead of the group to go do whatever he was going to do before. You were going to go after him, but felt something solid latch onto your arm.

"Don't."

Ryo was behind you, staring ahead and holding onto your arm preventing you from going any further. "When did you get-" you started but got cut off by the taller man. "I'm sorry Yn.." he looks down to meet your eyes. 'Huh? What is he saying he's sorry for?' You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. Seeing your expression, he continues. "I got here too late. You shouldn't have seen him." He says. "What do you mean by 'I shouldn't have seen him?'" You question him. He looks away as if he's been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. "Ryokan." He looks back at you. You never call him by his first name. You've only done it once before. That's how serious you are.

"Yn.. I didn't want you seeing him because he's already moved on from you." He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "No.. he didn't.." you defend. "Yes, Yn. He did." He pushes. "I saw him look at me like he didn't want me to leave! So what the fuck do you mean he moved on?" You say but not too loudly to turn heads. Ryo sighs again and begins to pull you away from the hallway of people. You snatch your arm away from him and stay rooted in your spot. "Yn.. listen to me. Don't go around trying to push yourself back into his life when it's obviously doing fine without you. He has a wife who he loves probably even more than he used to love you and kids that look up to him." He says, keeping eye contact with you the whole time. You wanted to cry.

But you couldn't.

So your heart just squeezed itself towards the point where it felt like it was going to swallow itself. "Yn. Listen, I didn't mean to say it like that." He tries to reach out towards you but fails because you move away. He can see the girl he loves shutting off again, like all those years ago. Only this time, he doesn't know what you'd do but, he knew it'd be worse than last time.

"Fuck you Ryokan."

And you turn away and leave him.

———-

You needed some time away to calm yourself down so you sat in the restroom for sometime before walking out to find the group. This task was more difficult than you expected because of all the different smells in the hospital.

The bland hospital walls didn't make you feel any better at all. If anything, you were starting to feel worse. As soon as you saw the group and went to catch up with them, you were pulled into a dark closet.

Before you could attack the person who snatched you, you felt a strong grip on the both of your wrists and a warm breath on your neck. "Who the hell-" you struggled in their grip and started to panic. 'Who the hell is this strong?! I should've been out of this!'

"Yn."

A man?

No.

"Carlisle?"

You had guessed correctly. Your eyes adjusted and you turned around to see him pressed up against you. "You- why are you..?" You didn't even know what to ask him at this point. Just his presence alone was enough to throw you in a daze.

After staring into your eyes for a bit, he pulls you into a tight hug. "You don't know how much I've missed you Yn." He says with a bit of a groan. You began to feel weak in the knees. His voice seemed deeper than before. Darker, than before. His warmth made you want to melt as you stood there stuck to him. "Lily.." you began but then paused as Ryo's words echoed in your head. You stiffened up. "Carlisle." He pulls away, still holding you by your shoulders, at your tone of voice. "Yn.. what's wrong?" He seemed to be searching for something in your eyes. "Nothing." You looked away from the older man. "I just.. thought you forgot all about me over the years and moved on." You say. "What are you talking about? I'd never forget about you. No matter how hard I've tried.. I tried to engrave it in my brain that you were dead and I would never be able to see you again. I-" he paused and started to think about something. "What is it?" You ask, curious to know what he's thinking about.

"It's nothing. I'm just so happy to have you in my embrace again." He says and pulls you back into his chest. "I still love you. So so much."

"Lily.. you don't have to lie to me." You sigh quietly. Unbeknownst to you, his face changed into one of confusion. "I know you've already moved on." You say to him, still wrapped around him. "Yn, what are you talking about?"

"I've already met them. Your kids. I was told you have a wife too. Y'all seem happy together." You say to the man. He pulls away from you again to look at you directly. Your head is hung low. You were looking at the floor beneath you. "Yn I've never moved on from you." He says. 'He didn't deny having a family and being happy.' You think to yourself.

"Yn.. do you remember the woman I helped before you were turned? The one who fell out of the tree?" He asks.

"Yeah..? What about her?" You ask in return.

"I-" he starts but shook his head. "Not here. I can't tell you here." He takes his hands off of you and stands up straight. "Meet me here tomorrow night." He takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and writes an address on it. "I'll tell you everything then." You nod slowly and he moves towards the door.

"Yn. I am so, so, sorry for not being there all these years.." then he leaves you.

Alone.

Again.