Empires SMP season 2 reacts to season 1

The standoff

Joey: I really like all these wars. Who was fighting this time?

Jana: You and Lizzie.

Lizzie: Me? What did Joey do this time?!

Jana: Joey wanted an axolotl to ransom for some prismarine, but since all of Lizzie's coral roofs have axolotl habitats in them full of axolotls he decided to just adopt one.

Lizzie: Joey, this is just like you holding the whole Critter Council hostage!

Joey: Well that Joey didn't follow through with his ransom idea and didn't have a screamy goat bothering him the whole time.

Jana: Can we go back to talking about the ocean empire?

Lizzie: You know, hearing about the ocean empire just makes me hunger for seafood.

Jana: Lizzie, please, that's cannibalism. Sort of. Anyway, (Show clip of Joey bucketing an axolotl and jumping off the prisma palace.) as you can see Joey wasn't as good at theivery at sea as he is now because he failed to steal a fish without dying.

Joey(Annoyed amidst everyone else laughing.): Hey, I wasn't a pirate in this past life!

Jana: Shush. Anyhow, for revenge, Lizzie took the Tiger Blood Prince-

Lizzie: Wait, that was me?!

Jana: Yes. This was one of the 'you'll find out' things I mentioned.

Joel: Well at least one of them's cleared up.

Jana: So anyway, Joey declared war on the ocean empire.

Lizzie: This is the part where he gets put in a cage, isn't it?

Jana: Yup. Lizzie made a cage and hung it from a bridge on the prisma palace for extra safekeeping. And then they both realized they were spying on each other.

Sausage: Uh, I think you're skipping a part.

Jana: Oh, yeah. By this time Joey had done the deal with Sausage where he kills people and Joey's totem of undying business gets more customers. Sausage had already killed Katherine.

Katherine: Wait, what?

Sausage: You let me! You caught me sneaking up on you and I told you everything and you let me kill you for a totem!

Joey: Sausage, you are a very incompetent assassin.

Jana: Yeah, he even said things wrong. (Show clip of Sausage's failed Katherine murder attempt.)

Katherine: So I was a pacifist in this past life?

Jana: Yes, you wouldn't even kill a sheep even after you and Scott got a sheep plushie business.

Scott: A what?

Jana: You made armor stand plushies with sheep heads and sold them for diamonds. Scott for whatever reason couldn't even remember whatever the business was called.

Scott: I'm not smart, okay?!

Jana: But anyway, back to the whole assassin thing, Sausage decided to make it official and create an assassin's guild. People could hire him to kill their enemies.

Joey: What happened next in the war?

Jana: Lizzie and Joey agreed to exchange Strawburry, which was what he named the axolotl, and the Tiger Blood Prince in the desert near Pixandria, but Joey decided to double-cross her.

Joey(Pretending to be outraged.): Me? Why would I ever do such a thing?

Shelby(Rolling her eyes.): Yeah, right. (The screen started showing the clips of Lizzie and Joey both hiring Sausage to kill each other.)

Lizzie: Ooh, conflicting interest! How dramatic.

Gem: So you're both double-crossers. (The clips then show the assassinations and how the two made up again after their deaths.) Well, at least they all made up.

Scott: How very convenient that there was a random hay cart in the middle of the desert.

Jana: Funny that's it's you who mentions that, Scott. (The screen then shows the scene where Sausage and Scott were discussing the assassin's guild and the possibility of someone else joining.) No one else actually ended up joining.

Sausage: Yeah, but that meant I was the best assassin!

fWhip: Because you were the only assassin.

Sausage: Exactly!

Joey(Disappointed.): Is this the end of the war? Already? But it was kinda interesting.

Jana: Don't worry Joey, there's more wars coming.

Katherine: How did this server last so long?