Operation Mackerel: 10 Ways to Make Dazai Osamu Jealous

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 6: A Very Non-Gayass Island Vacation

"Listen here, you piece of shit," Chuuya mutters dangerously while choking Dazai, "Get your fucking ass moving, or I'll break that ass myself."

Instead of trembling and fearing for his life, Dazai just smirks while being flustered. Chuuya knows that kind of flushing is also a way for this bastard to tease the hell out of him, so he just snorts and curses silently.

How did they even end up like this, and why the hell does his dialogue become this suspiciously gay?

Well, it starts when they need to literally plan a way to survive on this secluded island with just the two of them. It would be less hassle if only he brought his phone inside a waterproof bag for emergencies. It would be less hassle if only he informed Verlaine that he'd be touring the cruise and told him that if he didn't come back immediately, track him for emergencies. Chuuya needs to start taking notes of these simple life lessons.

The most important is: Never wear a hat in a breezy place. It will ruin your life. And don't do drugs. Drugs should do you— fuck it.

"From this moment on, since you've been very lucky in acquiring all the unlucky things that can happen to any human being, I have one single request from you, slug."

"What is it?"

Dazai paused and looked at him seriously. Chuuya can feel his scalp tingling with the intensity of Dazai's gaze. He can also feel the vibration in his chest because of his organ within reacting to every little thing Dazai does. Just to clarify, he's not gay, okay? It's just that his heart is currently malfunctioning. His heart is not a reflection of his sexuality; that's just some hasty generalization.

"While we're on this island, don't leave my side."

Instantly, Chuuya's heart skipped a beat, so he immediately averted his gaze, "The hell? Quit that gay-ass statement; it's making me sick!"

Your heart beating for some men doesn't mean you're gay. It only means you're alive.

Chuuya pats himself mentally.

Dazai also averted his gaze with unexplainable teary eyes, "It's making me sick, too! Being here with you makes my stomach spin in an awful manner."

"The feeling is mutual, bastard!"

There's a sudden silence between them before Chuuya realizes something, "Oi. It's going to get dark in a few hours. If we want to survive here, at least we have to build a shelter and find some food."

"I'm so tired from swimming all the way here. Can't we just lay down in the sand while staring at the sky and—"

Before Dazai can finish his words, Chuuya's already tugging him up and dragging him towards the forest-like scenery within the island. He lets out a yelp of protest, but Chuuya's incredibly sadistic (by Dazai's wording) and mercilessly chibified (also Dazai's wording) that he can't escape at all.