SOULMATE - [정원]

two

"How was your day Jayeon?"
Mom asked me while starting to curl up her spaghettis on the fork she held in her left hand.

"Well, we planned on our grad-"
I started as i was already cut off by my sister who just couldn't shut up and needed to talk about her success at work.

"Mom and dad, i'm so happy to tell you this. I was finally promoted to the serving service in the restaurant. No washing the dishes anymore. It's better, my nails were always broken up because of it"
Yunjil said, considering her nails she just painted pink with some glitter stones on them.

She always needed to cut me off right? I never get the chance to even say one sentence before she starts again.

"Oh, darling we're so proud of you"
Mom said as she patted Yunjil's shoulder who just smiled proudly.

That hurted. I never got to hear mom and dad saying this to me. They were never proud of me for something. Even if i brought home a good grade, they would just nod and stay quiet. Usually it's always like the older one has to fight for all the stuff and the younger sibling just gets it all for free, right?
Well, in my case it's the opposite. I always have to fight for the stuff Yunjil just gets like this.

"Jayeon, you should take an example from your older sister! Yunjil always brought home good grades, not like you mediocre ones"
Mom said as she raised her eyebrows while looking deeply in my eyes. She knew how to scold me the right way. Just enough to hurt me.

I had to pull myself together so hardly to not cry in front of my family. I just exhaled one time heavily before standing up, taking my plate in my hands, about to go upstairs and eat alone in my room. But i was stopped by my dad's raising voice.

"Where are you going, Jayeon? Don't you see that we are still eating?"

"I'll eat alone in my room"
A rolled my eyes, ready to make the next step towards the stairs. This time i was stopped my someone pulling my wrist harshly.

"Noo, that's unfair, mom. Then she can just easily chat with her friends instead of spending time with her family"
Yunjil's hand was still pulling my wrist until i rolled my eyes at her, pulling my wrist away from her grip what suprisingly worked.

"Come on Yunjil, you don't even notice me while eating, it's like i'm invisible to you. So stop saying that's unfair, wouldn't it be better for you actually? Just go on and talk about yourself, you bitch"
I covered my mouth by my last word, I couldn't even turn my gaze to Yunjil's as i felt a punch on my cheek. As i looked up, covering my burning side of the face with my hand, i looked directly in my mom's eyes. She looked so angry to me.

"Kim Jayeon, how dare you to call your sister like this! Stay here and eat with us or go upstairs and starve for this night"

My brain was still busy with recoginizing the situation.

My mom, the woman who gave birth to me forced me to starve or spend time with my family. My answer was clear, i swear. Never i would pay even one more second with this family.

"Fine, then i guess i have to go to bed without dinner this night"
Tears were slowly formed in my eyes but i succeeded with holding them back on my whole way upstairs to my room. I shut the door, not caring about the loud sound it created.

I finally let out everything.

Why do i have to live this life? No one would ever love me right?

This family is completely shit. Mom and dad only care about Yunjil who thinks she is someone better than anyone else with her fantastic job as an employee in a restaurant no one even knew.