Trigger - Part 1

CHAPTER 40 - Hang On

"What are you doing here? It's late." I wrap my gown tightly around my body, half hanging on the door.
"May I?" Shane gestures towards me and I move to the side allowing him to enter.

I close the door and walk towards the kitchen, feeling Shane right behind me.

"Coffee?" I hold out a mug.
"That would be great, thanks." He places his car keys with his cell on the kitchen island. I turn towards the kettle and start adding coffee and sugar.

"So... what are you doing here?" I turn and lean against the counter.
"Thought we could catch up. Seeing as Luke and Liam are MIA, it's giving us a chance to be alone."

"They are struggling with Ian's death." I press my lips together and fold my arms against my chest.
"Yeah, I've been there before and it is not pretty." He pulls the bar stool out and takes a seat.

"Still don't remember anything?"
"Uhm, not really. My dreams or memories have been slow lately."
"Hm."

I turn to the kettle and pour the water into the mugs.

"So are the police still looking for you?" I ask while stirring the milk into the coffee.

"Yeah, pretty much." He takes the cup from my hands and places it down in front of him. I sit down and take a small sip.

"Shane... I am sorry about everything. If I had know why you did what you did I would have never-"
"-do you have feelings for him?" Shane cuts me off and I see a look of worry.

"Shane, I..."
"Just answer the question."

"I don't know..."
"Do you still feel something for me?"

"Shane..."
"It's okay, just be honest."

"It has been so long since I saw you, since we've been together. I am not the same girl that you once knew."
"Yeah I can see that. So it's a no?"

"No, it's... it's just complicated."
"What is so complicated? You either do or you don't."

"It's not that simple Shane."
"No. It is... but it is because you have feelings for Liam that is why it is complicated."

"This is not about Liam."
"Of course it is! You slept with him, Sage."

"And there it is... throwing it in my face... I thought you understand?"
"Yes I understand but what did you expect? Must I be happy about it? I have spent months trying to clear my name so that I could come back to you! Everything I did was for you Sage!"

"I did not know that! I thought you killed Devan! Why didn't you just tell me your plans? Why lie?"
"You would not have let me go otherwise."

"Bullshit! If you explained to me I would have waited for you."
"But that is the point! I didn't want you to sit and wait... I didn't know how long it was going to take. I didn't want you to sit and wait your life away."

"Then what did you expect Shane? For me to stay single for the rest of my life?"
"No I get it... I am just pissed at myself because I really did not think this through."

He takes a deep breath and rubs over his hair.

"Look... I get why you and Liam hooked up-"
"-Hooked up?"

"Yes, hooked up... wait how many times were there?"
"Shane..."

"So it wasn't just a casual one-time thing, was it?"
"Shane, I thought you put two and two together."

"Wait... Were you two actually together?"

I look down at my coffee, feeling a feeling of guilt wash over me.