Trigger - Part 1

CHAPTER 17 - I didn't Give Up

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I open my eyes and listen.
Nothing...
I get up quickly and head towards the kitchen. I stumble back and land on the floor; looking up I see his hand stretched out. Hesitant, I take his hand and instantly was pulled to my feet.

"I'm sorry." I say quickly not trying to look at him and walk past. I freeze at the feeling of his warm hand around my arm.
"No, I'm sorry..."

I try to walk away but his strength keeps me from moving.

"Sage... I'm really sorry about the other day."

I turn to face him feeling anger building. "Shane, It's fine..."

I flinch at his hand's sudden movement towards my face. His eyes grow with worry for a moment then turns to guilt while rubbing his thumb against my cheek as he sighs: "It's not fine..." My body tenses feeling my cheek warm slightly. All I can do is stare deep into his eyes.

"You needed space... I understand. You lost someone." I say swallowing quickly. His hold starts fading around my arm while it looks like the life is being sucked out of him. Unable to stand another moment I walk towards the lounge and sit on the sofa turning the TV on.

Maybe I should try and comfort him more?
You tried to and he basically threatened you with a gun! Well, he just lost his brother...

Oh come on Sage, he lost him a long time ago, Surely he should have known he could not possibly be alive after all this time...
Wow... real sensitive...
I don't know what to do-

"-Sage..."
I look to my right seeing Shane sitting down on the couch.

"Did you hear me?"
"I'm sorry, I was just - what did you say?"
"I said you lost someone too."
A huge lump in my throat forms, while feeling my heart trying to rip through my chest.

"Yeah..." I whisper fiddling with my fingers in my lap.

"Sage?" I look up and see Shane's eyes trying to search for something inside me.
"Are you okay?" A thin line forms on his forehead.

"Shane... I am so sorry about Devan. I wish there was something I could do to help take away your pain. I just-"
"-don't you feel anything?" His words cut through my sentence.

"I..." I look at my hands seeing my fingers turn red from squeezing them too hard.
"It's okay... You can be honest with me." His voice sounds soft.

I fill my lungs with as much air as I can.
"I feel for you Shane. It hurts me seeing you hurt like this. But I don't feel the hurt that I suppose someone would feel when they lose a boyfriend if that's what you're thinking."

I take another deep breath feeling my lungs shrinking two sizes.

"Sage... I... I..."

I look over at him seeing him hunched over with his head being supported by his hands. Feeling like a bus had just ridden over my heart I stand up and walk towards him taking a seat next to him.

"Hey... Look at me." I take his face gently but he quickly wipes away the tears, unable to make eye contact.

"It's okay to cry." I say while wiping a single tear rolling down his cheek.

"If he heard you now he would kick both our arses." A small smile starts to form on his face.

"Tell me about him." I sit further back on the couch and take his hand and bring it into my lap. Shane copies me and wraps his other hand over mine.
"He loved life, Sage... He embraced it no matter what it threw at him... what made him unique in my opinion was his forgiving nature and the way he loved people..."