I TALK: istg I'm hoping this is funny but sad at the same time yknow?
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Y/N POV
"Okay, so you wanted a new hat?" I ask Schlatt, looking over my shoulder and seeing him turning his head left and right, searching for what I assumed to be hats. We liked to shop together sometimes and buy random shit, especially late at night where we felt the need to whisper in a empty store. But today it was only midday and I wanted to buy some snacks while he wanted a hat.
"Yeah, a dark blue one" He nods, taking a few steps forward to stand next to me. He swings the basket back and forth, making sure to be careful and not drop anything from it.
"Ooh, look at this one" I grab the black hat (with the word swag written on it) off the hook and show it to him, he shakes his head, not even bothering to reply with words. I jokingly glare at him and put it back. He walks to my side once again and grabs a brown hat off its hook. "That one's cool" I nod. It had a small landscape on it.
"I wish it was a darker color but yeah, I like it too" He scans over all the other hats before deciding on the one he grabbed.
"Okay, now we can pay for the stuff and then go back to my place, BF/N said he'd be there in like two hours so we can do whatever during those two hours" I tell him. His happy attitude fades at the mention of my boyfriend, he doesn't like him and he's made it clear by always making sure to tell me he isn't good for me.
Suddenly he scowls and loudly sniffs. "What the fuck is that" He brings an arm up and hides the lower half of his face, he starts gagging. "Oh my god, I'm gonna throw up" He shakes his head before retching. It takes me a second to realize what he's talking about, but I understand when I smell the horrific smell of a very rotten shit. "Who shit in the Walmart?" He sets the basket down on the floor and gags again.
"Oh my fucking god.." I mutter, plugging my noise. It smelt like it came from a young baby. "Please, some mom needs come change their kids shit diaper" I press a hand against a nearby shelf, leaning on it and refusing to let myself breathe.
"W-Why is no one else reacting? Can no one else smell this?" Schlatt looks around. "Fuck, oh fuck.." He gasps, trying not laugh, I lift my head when he places a hand on my shoulder and shakes me. I follow his gaze and see an old man passing by us, when he passes by me I could tell the smell was coming from him, especially because his pants were stained with a dark green. "Stop, stop don't laugh.." He chokes out, he stifles his laughter but at the same time it was loud and the man could probably hear it.
"I can't.." I hold a hand over my mouth, tears forming in my eyes as I hold back my laughter and the need to throw up. "I'm gonna cry.. did he shit himself..?" I wipe away the tears that fell from my eyes. I don't even bother with the smell anymore, it was just the man that wandered past us with stained pants that made me laugh now. I felt bad for laughing because he obviously couldn't help it but it was so gross and Schlatt laughing wasn't helping. "Stop..!" I shake him and he snaps, no longer being able to hold in his laughter.
