like magic™ (1)

Fifty five. Collateral

Mark, his name was mark, that's all he is to me, that's all he's ever been.

That was always the big one. Him. Mark Fleming, the stupid, evil English man that I called my father for the past 17 years. Like it or not, he made me who I am. The lies, the secrets...the fear. It was all him. He ruined me.

For the first half of my life I did everything for him. If I aced a test it was to spite him because he told me I wasn't smart enough. If I cleaned the house it was so he wouldn't get mad when he came home. If I stayed quiet when all I wanted to do was scream...it was because he hated the sound of my voice.

Everything I hated about myself, was because he hated it. Every bad thought I ever had about who I was, he put there.

He made me scared to trust anyone. Made me feel like a monster. Like I couldn't trust myself. He made me hate myself.

He planted every single insecurity that I live with everyday.

And for what...all for fucking nothing.

I feel numb. I feel lost I feel betrayed...I feel angry.

"Are you okay?"

Kodin and I have been sitting in our kitchen for the past 2 hours, in complete silence. I've been reading through my mother's journal, trying to find some answers to the millions of questions that swarmed my brain.

Normally, I'd ask before I took anything belonging to her but in this case...I don't give a shit.

"Yeah"

"Katie, you've read the same page three times..."

With a sigh I rubbed my hands over my face, elbows leant against my kitchen counter. Kodin was sat at the island opposite me, literally just staring into space.

"I can't think"

"How's your head?"

"It's fine actually, just chaotic, doesn't hurt anymore though"

Kodin nods, still watching me with concerned eyes. I give him a look. "I'm fine, Kodin"

"I know but you nearly blew up back there, Kaitlin"

"Can you blame me?"

"No..." My brother drops his head, shaking it and sighing. "I can't wrap my head around this"

"Nana mentions it a lot in her writing actually" I swept through the pages, sentences upon sentences. "Hybrids are beings of unfathomable power, they can use magic without incantation, control more magic than that of a normal witch...Jesus Christ"

"Well the first part kind of sounds like you..." I look up at my brother in confusion "what do you mean?"

"You've done that before, albeit it was when you were overly emotional but..."

"No I understand. Nana suppressed our hybrid side I guess, emotional outbursts might trigger it..."

Kodin lowered his head, something was off about him today and it was bugging me.