Incapable of love

843 9 31
                                    

Y/N Y/LN

I walked down the hall in the Riddle manor, on my way to Tom's office. I've known him for 5 years now, and I think it's about time I confess my feelings to him. We met by me accidentally bumping into him. Literally. Yes, it sounds cliché, but if it helps, he wasn't a rich man that I spilled coffee on, being a clumsy barista. No. Instead, it was more like I came out of a library with the only copy of a book that had been published, by a notorious author and alchemist. 

I was somehow able to get my hands on it, after persuading the Librarian to sell it to me. It had taken a lot of haggling and persuasion, but I got there in the end. Anyways, I had been admiring the bookcover, when I bumped into Tom. The impact, caused my book to fall, making me panic that I'd ruined it already. Tom had been apologising to me, when I picked up the book and he noticed the cover.

He'd told me how I'd beat him to getting that book, and how much he wished there were other copies. I'd told him that I'd read it, then lend it to him after if he wanted, which had made him smile. He gave me his number, and I stayed true to my word, letting him borrow the book when I was done. After he'd read it also, he returneed it to me in a cafe, and we'd drank coffee as we discussed the contents. It went so well, that he suggested we meet up again, and so we did, building our relationship to what it is now.

I reached Tom's office and knocked on the door. When he waved the doors open with wandless magic, I entered and took a seat opposite him. He finished writing his sentence, before placing the quill down and giving me his full attention. "Tom, there's something I need to tell you" I say, nervously. He looks intrigued an motions for me to ontinue. I take a deep breath, then sigh as I begin to explain.

"Tom, we've known each other for
5 years now. We get along so well, but I'd like more. I love you Tom," I confess, looking him in the eyes. 

"No. Y/n, I can't love you," He answers straight away, making my heart drop a little, yet I carry on. 

"I know, the love potion. But I've studied numerous sources that say that it's side effects can be broken" I tell him, hopefully.

"Y/n stop, please go" he almost pleads. 

"I know you feel the connection too, don't push it away Tom. We could spend the rest of our lives together, I can picture it now, it'd be amaz-" I begin to say, but he cuts me off quickly. 

"Just drop this! Don't you get it Y/n? I can't love you!" Tom says, raising his voice. He's never shouted at me before.

"Why not Tom, the love potion-" I try to explain again, and he suddenly snaps.

"IT'S NOT THE FUCKING LOVE POTION, Y/N, I CANNOT LOVE YOU!" He shouts now,  very angry.

"Why, why can't you?!" I shout back.

Tom pauses, tears welling in his eyes, before he gives up and decides to explain, knowing I won't let this go without a proper explanation. I was stubborn like that. 

"I was in love with a girl before. She was beautiful, funny, smart, and appreciated me for who I am. She was my everything. We grew up in the orphanage together, becoming inseparable. Then we came to hogwarts together. We were both sorted into Slytherin and she was overjoyed. Our relationship grew and in our 5th year, we confessed our love for each other. Eventually, we graduated and planned to travel for a few years and then marry.

The second year of our travels, I propsed and we were engaged. The next day, I entered her room in our hotel and she was gone. She hadn't run though all her belongings were still there. I didn't panic, until I couldn't find her anywhere and no one had seen her. I searched for a month, anywhere and  everywhere I could think of, but to no avail. 

A month later, I went back to her apartment and I found her. She was lying on the floor, covered in bruises, scars and cuts. A pool of blood was surrounding her abdomen. I tried all the healing spells and potions I could think of but nothing. She begged me to hold her and I did. As she was drawing her last breaths, she said something that would haunt me forever. "I'm sorry Tom. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect our baby" she cried, and then the life faded from her eyes, and my beautiful fiancée was gone.

I loved her, but I couldn't protect her. I lost my future wife and my child that day, and I never found out who did it. I cannot love you because I can't lose you too," Tom says, breaking down. "I'm so sorry Tom. You won't lose me, not ever. I'll always be with you" I answer, rushing around to his side of the desk and hugging him. I'm in love with you and no one can take me away from you" I proclaim.

"You cannot make promises like that, Y/n," He sniffles. "Well I have and I'm going to keep it" I reply stubbornly. "You should forget about me and move on" Tom says firmly. " I'm too in love with you, don't you see? I can't!" I exclaim. "You have to! I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me" Tom tells me, frustratedly. "Nothing will happen" I say, trying to reassure him.

"You don't know that Y/n!" He shouts. "Well tough I will never love anyone else, I will never forget you" I say. "I'll have to make you forget then" before I could register what he said, Tom raised his wand and muttered the memory wiping spell: obliviate.

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