P E N A L T Y | c. ѕaιnz jr.

21| Ghost of the Past

S. Sainz

Barcelona, Spain

Here I was again, back to square one, staying in a random 5-star hotel and out clubbing like I always used to. The blaring music is where I belong because that way I could forget. I could forget what happened and I could forget what happened. Everything that happened.

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June 22, 2019: Oxford University

It was painful. The walk back to my flat was an agonising walk of shame. I limped all the way back, my pelvis hurting from all the force used on me. When I finally arrived, Luka was still there. He was sitting on the couch as if he hadn't done the most vile thing. Is that why he was so comfortable? He finally got what he want.

"You pig," I barely croaked out as I used the doorway to hold my weight up, my body hurting from what happened. Luka stood up, a satisfied smirk on his face as he walked up to me and said, "Did you really think I cared about you?" He laughed stroking my face mockingly then grabbing my chin roughly, "You mean nothing to me. You're just business to me. I know you're unhappy so I'll let you end out engagement but if you ever...if you ever try to expose me...I set up a camera from where you and Mr. Beaumont had fun."

"You-," but I couldn't say anything more because he grabbed me by the neck and choked me as he said, "Try anything and I'll make it look like you had an enjoyable tryst with your economics professor."

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I let my body be controlled by the rhythm of the music as I danced and danced. I danced with random men, letting them touch my body because I didn't care anymore. No matter how much I tried to escape my past. But I was getting sick of it, even if I tried to dance the night away I knew I didn't enjoy it anymore. Not since Carlos came into my life. I tore myself away from the dance floor and left the club knowing that it wasn't my scene anymore.

I went back to my hotel and freshened myself up in some more decent clothes. I sighed. What am I doing? I should be with Carlos but why can't I just help but run. I wore my usual pants get up and I sighed seeing Carlos' white shirt in my luggage. I just couldn't help but take it. Every part of me misses him. I put on the shirt and took off my heavy makeup and just left the hotel again with my face bare, hoping to look for a restaurant still open.

To my good luck, a small hole in the wall restaurant was open near the hotel. It was quite busy so I didn't hold out too much hope. I approached the hostess and asked if there were any availabilities but she said, "I'm sorry señora, at this time, we don't add any more customers since we'll be closing soon." I nodded and turned around. I was about to leave to go look for another restaurant when I heard a voice say, "Wait! Salomé! Come join me!"

I turned back around and saw a petite woman with brown hair and big hazel eyes. She had a face like a bunny and I immediately recognised her. She's Carlos' ex. Isa. "Salomé right?," she asked and I nodded and she happily told the hostess, "She'll be joining me." I was surprised she even recognised me and I didn't ask questions till we were both seated at her table. She was eating alone, that is quite strange.

"How did you know-," I asked and she showed me her phone to show me Carlos' text. She sighed and said, "Carlos and I are still friendly and he's texted his friends and family that if any of us saw you, to text him immediately where you are."

"Please don't-," I begged and she nodded and held my hand and said, "Don't worry, I won't. I'm sure you have a reason." I gave her a grateful smile and sat down. She ordered us a round of drinks and patatas bravas and gazpacho and when the waiter was finally out of earshot she asked, "So what brings you back to Spain and not travelling alongside Carlos? Unless you have a career which I completely respect."