"How does it feel when those eyes look at you?" Someone asked and I smiled widely
"Ethereal " is all I said cause thats the first word that came to mind
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IN WHICH
Cara Matthews, lives her life as the owner of LeClara bake...
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Cara
9 months later and our little angel has been nothing but a blessing. I feel the relationship between me and Charles got stronger and stronger all thanks to Deacon and today is the day the public finds out about why I've been out of sight for more than a year since I stayed at home from 6months pregnant till now. I finally got myself ready for social media to blow up about this. I know alot of them will be happy but I know there are alot of trolls out there that will hate on us.
"So we are getting ready to go to Milan for the Monza race, all our stuff is packed , Chico is staying with Charles's mom untill we get back on monday " i explained to the camera looking around for Deacon since he's a bit to quiet.I put the camera on the bookshelf , I saw Deacon crawling into the livingroom and I picked him up."Where are you going little troublemaker" I asked and tickled his side which made him giggle."Can you give mommy a kiss?" I asked and he puckered his lips and gave me a kiss on my lips making the exaggerated mwah sound. "Thank you my angel" I cooed which made him smile showing the few teeth he has so far.
"Since he figured out how to crawl , no tupperware cabinet is safe , when its too quiet you have to go look what he's up to and 99% of the time he's busy packing out the cabinets." I explained to the camera and kissed his cheek. He snuggled on my chest and yawned."No no no , you need to stay awake for awhile longer so that you can sleep through the flight " I spoke softly trying to think of a way to get him to stay awake."Should we go get papa?" I asked and he lifted his head instantly."Papa" I called out to Charles and Deacon mumbled something trying to talk but he's not fully there yet.Charles came from the kitchen and smiled when he saw Deacon. Deacon started making those baby sounds and reached out for Charles.
"We need to keep him awake so that he can sleep on the flight" I told him and he agreed."Lets go play with Chico" Charles said enthusiastically and Deacon clapped his hands and they went to the livingroom.I took the camera and went to our room."I have about 20 minutes while Deacon is distracted to get ready , I already showered so I'm only gonna do some skin stuff for the plane ride so I don't get a break out from the flight like i always do , you know look presentable after being gone for more than a year" i laughed and started on my skincare before packing it into my suitcase.
"Monza is gonna be hard for me , i can feel it " i sighed looking away from the camera for a moment."Its been almost a year since Deacon passed , and my heart still hurts ." I sighed looking up to stop the tears."I can't cry now " I fanned my eyes."And the reason why we named our son Deacon , is to remember the reason we wanted a baby , its because that weekend in Monza Deacon felt like my son , we just had that connection and when we came back I felt so empty , and I realized and felt that I want to be a mom , so I talked to Charles and he agreed , but when Deacon passed we both knew we wanted to name our baby after Deacon , so if we had a girl her name would've been Denise , and when we heard we had a boy we knew we should name him Deacon" i explained the whole story in short for them to understand why we did it .
