Revolt 13 | Y.Jw

| 2.15 |

Lin hadn't said a word since we moved our base up to the Cornucopia. Even though Soomin and Jungwon had searched the entire Cornucopia to prove that no one was hiding in it or waiting to attack, Lin had still denied any words to leave her mouth. Not even Xia could get her to say anything. 

All Lin really had done since then was recieve her dinner with a small nod as she stared out of the Cornucopia opening. She was sitting a bit away from the rest of us, that had decided we would shield ourselves from the dark clouds above, by moving inside the Cornucopia to eat.

"Is this normal?" Sunghoon whispered and nudged Xia in her side.

"Yeah," Xia nodded casually before looking over at Sunghoon, "she used to be like this the first few years. Her mood swings were incredible. One moment she would be all giggly and raindbows, the next... exactly like that," Xia gestured her head towards Lin, who quietly picked out small crumbs from the piece of bread she had been given for her dinner.

"Hm..." Sunghoon hummed quietly.

"It's coping," Soomin spoke up, "you two wouldn't understand."

"We're in it now, aren't we?" Sunghoon frowned in defence."

"Are you really?" she sighed and arched a brow at him, "you have four allies with you that has tried this before, and how many more don't we have around the arena? You're somewhat protected in that sense. I didn't have any allies in my games. Lin had two, but they both died in the first few days. Jungwon and Jiyeon only had themselves."

"And Pedro," Jungwon piped up quickly, "it was mainly Ji... though..."

"These games feel much more safe," I nodded in agreement, looking down at the small piece of bread laying in my lap, waiting for me to eat it, "I haven't really worried about anything yet."

"Exactly. You two will never understand," Soomin snapped to the two others in return.

"Cut it off. We've had to kill and fight too so far," Sunghoon quickly retorted and looked at her sternly. Soomin sent him a glare before simply pursing her lips and looking back down at her food.

"You'll never get the nightmares," Lin added on from the opening of the Cornucopia, "not in the same degree. You won't experience the weeks of no sleep that follows the games. How deafening or unnerving silence can be. Just being alone makes it impossible for you to rest. You won't know."

Xia glanced over at Lin before shaking her head as a signal for no one to speak up about it. Instead she looked over towards Jungwon and I, almost as if asking us if we wanted to add anything.

"How did you two cope?" Xia muttered and I frowned, not expecting exactly that question, "did you act like this too?"

"We coped differently, I suppose," Jungwon replied and glanced down at me and I nodded quietly, "Ji?"

"I didn't speak to anyone for months," I admitted quietly, "not unless I was forced to. I only held the speeches on the Victory tour. I barely said phrases of more than four words."

"Why?" Xia frowned and I shrugged quietly, looking back down at my bread.

"I stared at a lot of walls," Jungwon eventually revealed after a few seconds of silence, "a lot of walls. The ceiling. The floor. Just staring. For hours."

"Time passes by slowly the year after," I nodded in agreement and scratched the side of my nose quietly, "you just can't do basic things you used to be able to do... I couldn't eat fruit."

"I couldn't sleep with any blankets or duvets on," Jungwon nodded quietly, "one night... I had already had a nightmare that night and my mom tried to tug me in to get me to sleep again. I shut down completely. I don't remember, but she said I was screaming and fighting off the blanket like a madman."

"I throw up any pieces of fruit I eat," I nodded quietly before snickering slightly, "which is a shame, because Thirteen has some of the best plums growing in the forest outside the fences."

"My mom sewed together a new blanket for me to use, thinking it would help," Jungwon nodded.

"You've slept under duvets on the train and in the suites," I frowned and looked over to him.

"It's better and easier to do when something anchors me to reality," he smiled slightly in return.

Xia and Sunghoon sat quietly for some time, sharing glances with one another. They had both been close to someone suffering through the aftermath of the games, yet they had never stopped up to think the conditions through more. Not once had they considered how deep it actually went.

Somwhere in the jungle a loud and painful scream echoed out. Quickly I moved a bit to be able to look out of the Cornucopia opening and towards where the scream had come from. Only a few more seconds passed and the canon went off, automatically making Soomin flinch in her spot before she brushed it off as if she had decided to start nibbling on her piece of bread.

"That makes sixteen dead in total," Sunghoon muttered quietly, "probably the last one before the announcement."

Above the Cornucopia the sky boomed and slowly raindrops started falling outside the Cornucopia. I quietly moved back to lean against the walls of the Cornucopia once again, turning my head to look up at Jungwon.

"What?" he murmured once he noticed I was staring.

"Do you start shaking when the canon goes off, too?" I whispered quietly and held up my hands just in front of my thighs, hiding them from the others. They were shaking from side to side, barely noticeable at first, but slowly it really dawned upon one how bad it looked.

"No," he murmured in return and grabbed both of my hands in his, as if he was just warming them up for me, "But my heart does skip a beat and run off in my chest for a few minutes after."

Had it not been because of Lin's loud and painful scream I would've replied, but I never got the chance. Instead Lin had screamed out in pain, holding her hand close to her chest - complaining of the rain having burnt her. When she had finally relented to show the rest of us her hand it had been clear what she had meant.

On the middle of the back of her hand her skin had bubbled up, cracked and started peeling off from the center. It was bright red, almost looked like it was burning up into a crisp - like the bacon I had been served in the Capitol. 

The rain lasted an hour, and while Soomin wrapped up Lin's hand and tended to her burn - washing it with fresh water, which allegedly only made it worse according to line - the death announcement appeared on the sky. The most notable death of the day was the fourth tribute from District One, Sunghoon's cousin - he didn't really have a reaction to it, apparently he didn't like his cousin that much anyways. The other deaths were mainly from earlier, the people we had killed down on the beach.