Orgasms

The Visit.

Laying in bed, thinking of what happened a few hours ago is surreal. I'm not sure what to make of my sudden boldness or attraction to Balogun. But I do know one thing, I still fear Rueben, and I hope something happens and he doesn't have to visit. When Balogun and I were doing it, there were instances in which I saw his face....I smelt his smell and I tasted his taste....
These visions and feelings only came in flashes. Does this mean I will always see him in my head when I'm with someone else?

Balogun surprised me. I surprise myself. We are just friends, and then in just a milisecond, we are something else. I care for him. I know I do. I'm just not sure what this is.......or why, when I was motionless in his arms, he said, 'I have you now, Lilian Cole.' He probably thought I was asleep when he said that, and I did not move or say anything when I heard that, but what does it mean?

''Lilian! Lilian!''
''Yes Papa! Papa's loud voice made my very thoughts jump. Its 7:30 for Christ's sake. The neighbours will think he is crazy. I wear my slippers and shuffle toward the living room. I am a bit annoyed he is disturbing me. I wonder what he wants.

Papa was standing, his back to me, talking to someone. Mama, held a bag, looks like luggage or something. My eyes rest on the hunched, dark, and skinny figure that was all smiles. My feet stopped moving, my heart is suddenly beating louder. So loud I can't hear what Papa is saying to me. I swallow the lump in my throat and avert my eyes from the figure still staring at me,. ''Yes Papa?''
''Are you deaf child? I said come and greet your cousin.''
My eyes rests again on the figure standing before me and a very firm and steady voice escapes my lips.''Good evening Rueben, and welcome back.''