Orgasms

Its been a while

Balogun hasn't said anything about what he may have accidenlty said to me the other day at his house. 'I love you'. Why would he say that?....what does it mean? Did he mean it? Did he just say that because he thinks i'm a slut? These million thoughts hurt my brain as I sit in my bedroom listening to the heavy rains. I love the rains. I love the rainy season more than I do the dry season...it is very dreamy now...

I talk to Balogun as if our little situation had never happened. And he hasn't said a word about the sex. I hope he does not.

I am still unsure as to why Papa is here. Papa and Mama are acting like they are married...they are. But it's strange. Are they trying to make me go crazy? I don't even care. I don't. As usual, I am just the child. They make sure I eat, sleep, do my chores, do well in school and that's it. That is the responsibility of parents. They say.
My emotional needs are not met, they don't even comprehend that I have a life other than what I am at home. I am a whole being, not just the daughter. To hell with them! To hell with them all!