my girls [ Harry Styles A.U. ]

bonus 2

July 21st 2023, Italy

Harry

Here we are. Tomorrow Love On Tour will be over. It's strange when you think about it. Love On Tour has been a part of my life for so long, almost two years is not nothing. After the birth of the twins, I wasn't so sure about touring for my new album but I felt like I couldn't not do it. Touring had always been my favorite part of the job, if well managed, and I wanted this.

So in the end, I did the tour. Violet and the twins came for some shows in the US, and followed the whole European tours. Aimée and Grace are my biggest fans, always cheering me on and dancing. Their mom always dressed them up in sparkly clothes, with fun sunglasses and a crazy hair style. They were always overexcited to dance, even if they knew the show better than anyone. My own little fan club composed of my three girls. Violet was always there for me, for us. She helped with setlist choices, outfit choices, pictures choices... She knows me better than anyone on this tour which made it easier for her to help with decisions.

Touring the world is not easy when you have a family. Especially when they're not following, because you feel like you're leaving them behind. I know the feeling all too well, of a never ending tour, never seeing your family, always singing, writing, recording. I've promised myself that I'd never do it again. But here I am, sitting in front of a piano, a day away from my last show thinking about what the past one and a half year has been like. 

I feel arms wrap around my bare torso, long hair tickling my nose. I feel my anxiety slip away, relaxing in the warm embrace. "You're very quiet. What are you thinking about?" Violet kisses me, the strawberry smell of her chapstick lingering on my lips. She sits next to me, putting the baby phone down on the piano.

"Just thinking about the tour. It's crazy that tomorrow will be the last time." I try to smile, but I can't put myself to it so it feels fake. She notices it, I know she does, but she doesn't say anything. Instead, she sits down next to me and cups my face in her hands.

"It's not the last forever." She gives me a small smile while she brushes away one of my curls that fell in front of my eyes. I nod at her, "I know. But it won't be the same."

She drops her hands from my face and takes my hand in hers, still smiling. "No. It won't. It'll be different, of course, but the fans, they'll be the same. You've said so yourself that they made it feel like a home, a safe place, and that will stay."

I look up at her, her brown eyes searching my green eyes for a sign that I'm okay. I know she's been worried about this show, about it being the last, about me. She's worried about my feelings, my state of mind after the show. I've told her thousands of time not to worry, that I'd be fine, but now that I have to actually face it, I'm glad she's here to help. This is a big step to take, it's a whole chapter from my life ending. I guess that it's her mother side coming out and worrying for everyone.

Our moment is stopped by cries through the baby phone signifying that Theodore is awake. Our baby boy was born on September 10th 2022 which make him now 10 months old. After the birth, Violet took a few months off coming to the shows, but she came back with him a few times, the other times, she left him with her mother. "I'm gonna go check up on him, will you look out for the girls?" She untangles our fingers and stands up. "Of course."

I turn around and see Aimée and Grace jumping in the pool, screaming and laughing. The almost four years old are looking as happy as ever, putting their head underwater and throwing water at each other. Even though the pool is not deep and they are in the space where they can touch the bottom, I get up from the piano bench and go sit near the pool, letting my legs dangle in the water.

"Daddy! Can you play with us?" Grace splashes me, drenching my shorts in water. "No Gracie, I'm sorry I have something to do."

They both stand in front of me, their hair a disheveled mess of damp curls, a pout on their lips and yellow water goggles on her eyes. Aimée crosses her arms on her chest. "What?" I try not to laugh at their faces.