my girls [ Harry Styles A.U. ]

twenty nine

When we arrive at the hospital, there are two men with cameras in front of it. They must have heard of the accident from the news. The ambulance stops and they get Harry out on the stretcher. I watch from inside, feeling useless. They rush inside, covering him as much as they can from the cameras. With my numb legs, I try to stand up but fail miserably, falling back on the chair I was sitting in. Two doctors help me up and get me in a wheelchair, a respiratory mask still on my face. They are pushing Harry inside a special aisle of the hospital.

"Let me go!" I catch the nurse's sleeve to get her attention. "Please let me go. I—I need to be there for him. For when he wakes up." I beg her, blinking away the tears. My voice is muffled because of the respiratory mask, when I don't see her reply I open my mouth to tell her again.

She puts her hand on my shoulder and kneels in front of me. "I can't let you go in there with him. You need us to take care of you, and he needs medical assistance. You'll get to see him, I promise, but not right now." Her sweet voice feels like honey to my ears but my thought quickly takes over the small moment of peace.

She pushes me through the white corridors. Everything smells clean. I scrunch my nose, noticing that the smell of sanitizer slowly making my head spinning. I concentrate on my belly, rubbing my hands around it gently. The babies are kicking, which feels horrible. A kick makes me squeal. I cover my mouth with my hand, looking around.

****

I finally get out of the medical office that checked if I was okay after my panic attack. They kept me in for two hours, one during which a nurse helped me calm down by instructing me to do breathing exercises, and the other one checking if the babies were okay. They ran a couple of tests and turns out, the kicks I felt were normal, they felt that I was stressed so they reacted. I don't know how that's possible but it is.

I walk around the corridors like a ghost, I don't know where to go. I just want to see Harry. A sign indicates the main entrance, there must be someone who can tell me how Harry is there. I'm walking towards the receptionist, in hope that she can give me good news.

"Hello, I'm here to see Harry Styles. Can you tell me in which room he is?" She looks at me and shakes her head.

"I'm sorry only family is allowed in, we obviously can't let fans in—"

"I'm not a fan! I'm his girlfriend, please I need to at least know if he's okay." I plead.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I don't have any proof of what you're saying is true." She goes back to sorting the papers scattered around her desk. In defeat, I step back and go sit on a chair. I'll wait for him to come out, hopefully, he isn't ... No. I can't have these kinds of thoughts. I'm sure he's doing well.

"Viole ?" I look around me, trying to find where this woman's voice comes from. I stop at the reception. Anne is walking towards me, her arms open. She looks out of breath.

"Are you okay? Did you see him?" She says, completely terrified. I hug her back briefly before answering.

"I wasn't in the car, I saw the accident and his face... They don't want me to see him! They say family only and they believe I'm a fan." I say a little panicked.

She frowns and walks to the receptionist. The lady looks up from her papers to look at Anne. It's almost as if she didn't roll her eyes. "I'm here to see my son, Harry Styles." She whispers the name.

"Room 519. Go to the end of the hall, take the elevator to the second floor, then turn right and you'll be in the right corridor."

Anne takes my hand and starts walking.

"Excuse me! I said family only." She's now stood up from her chair and points her pen at me.

Anne scoffs and pushes me to continue walking. "She is family."

I smile at her, after everything that happened I'm still family. We enter the elevator and press the second-floor button. Anne is still holding my hand, looking straight ahead of her.

"I've heard about everything, and I understand why you left. He shouldn't have done that. I would've done the same if my boyfriend was seen with another girl, so I don't blame you. I just hope that you'll find some strength to forgive him one day." She says, apologizing for his behavior.

I take Anne's hand between both of mine and press it against my heart. "I've forgiven him. He just doesn't know it yet... Today's accident just proved to me that life is too unpredictable to not be with the person that you love."

Anne pulls me into a hug and we stand there, hugging each other a few seconds after the elevator opened. We get out of it and speed to Harry's room. So many pictures of how he's gonna be are intruding inside my mind. I push away these thoughts and open the door quickly without any hesitation.

What I see is not what I imagined.

I thought he would be connected to different machines, beeping to hold him alive but no. He's laying on the hospital bed, his whole body covered by a white sheet, only his face is out of it. A discreet bandage covers the part of his forehead that was bleeding. His chest is heaving up and down, which shows me that he's breathing. He's alive. I take a step forward, and my hand takes place on his cheek. He looks so.. peaceful. So calm.

"I'm going to take a coffee, do you want one ?" She whispers as if our voice will wake him up.

I shake my head and watch her exit the room. All I can think about is when he will wake up. I hope he can hear me, feel my presence. I sit on the edge of the bed and hold his head to my chest. I bury my nose in his hair and place a kiss atop his head. Gently, I untangle his curls, praying I don't hurt him.

"You scared me so much today. I thought you were dead when I saw you with all this blood dripping down your forehead." I wipe a tear falling down my cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't call an ambulance sooner, and I'm even more sorry that this happened when you got out of my flat. Because maybe our conversation was the reason you were distracted at the moment of the accident." I take a deep breath and close my eyes, gathering my thoughts.

"I have to tell you the truth, yes I forgive you. Even after everything, I forgive you. I think I just needed some time to understand your reasons, and maybe I just did. What's worse is that I realized it only when you were almost dying. I should have realized sooner, I'm sorry. I still love you and I always will because you can't seem to get out of my head." I chuckle.

"But I still need some time to figure out what I'll do. A part of me wants to come home, but the other part is telling me to go slow. Maybe we could start things again? All these things are so much easier to say when you're asleep and probably not hearing me, but I don't regret saying them. I just thought you should know. Now, please, please wake up. I need you, Harry."

I kiss his cheek and put a lock of his hair back behind his ear. I place his head back on the pillow and take a chair to sit next to the bed. I take his hand in mine, tracing circles with my thumb over the back of his hand. He used to do this every time he would hold my hand, it was so comforting. If there's one person who needs comfort right now it's him. His fingers start moving, slowly intertwining them with mine.

I stand up, not letting his hand go. "Harry?"

He opens his eyes slowly and takes a quick scan around the room, his brows frowning. Then his eyes land on me. "So it wasn't a dream... You're here."

I chuckle and wipe a happy tear from my cheek. "Yeah! I'm here." I pull him into a hug.

"I heard everything you know." He says, taking my hand close to his heart. "Thank you."

"I've missed you, idiot."

He puts his hands on my cheeks and pulls me on him for a kiss. God, I've missed this feeling.

<3