my girls [ Harry Styles A.U. ]

four

7 weeks pregnant

the day of the concert: April 12th, 2018

It has been a week since my encounter with Harry. I haven't texted him but I still have his number in my purse. The little card he wrote it on has been in and out of my hands for the last few days. I have been tempted to text him but the truth is I don't know what to say. I can't just drop the bomb by message, it would be cowardly of me. I need to tell him face to face, even if it's hard.

I'm currently sitting on my bed, watching my closet. I have no idea what to wear. How am I supposed to dress to tell a one-night stand that I'm pregnant with his child? Millie is ready even if we are supposed to leave in an hour. She's wearing pink pants and a white blouse, she has let her brown hair natural, and her brown eyes are sublimed by a thin eyeliner going from the inner corner of her eye to almost her brow.

I get up from the bed. "You're gorgeous," I say to her.

"Thank you! But you can't go like that you know your pj's aren't sexy." She puts on some gloss, not looking in a mirror. The gloss ends up on her lips and not around her mouth, which is very impressive. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky with such a perfect best friend.

I groan and fall back on my bed, my hands on my face. "I know but I don't know what to wear. Plus my belly is already showing a little bit and I'm only at 7 weeks! I don't understand." I whine.

"You're going to look great. Just wear your purple jeans and this white hoodie. The belly won't be showing." She tilts her head to the side "Although it's true that it's already quite big, no offense."

"None was taken," I say putting my hand up in surrender. I grab the clothes and get changed, my jeans still fit but I know they won't in a short amount of time. I walk past my mirror and look at myself. I should wear those jeans more often, my legs look amazing in them.

I tie my hair up in a bun and take a biscuit in case I get dizzy or hungry. We start driving to the arena that was only 20 minutes away. When we arrive, I notice all of the girls screaming and chanting harry's name. I show the tickets to the security and they show us our place. We are pretty far away but it's not that I mind. I don't think I can enjoy the show. I'm too nervous for that and the knot in my stomach can confirm this. I can't wait for it to be over so that I can run to Harry and tell him.

The lights start to fade and Harry appears on stage. He sings Only Angel first. I look over at Millie who is having the time of her life. I bet that she couldn't be more glad that I slept with him now. For a moment I think that he saw me, but there are so many people here his eyes might have just darted around the room and randomly paused on me for a microsecond. I sit back and try to enjoy the rest of the show.

****

Now that the concert is done, it means that it's time. It is now or never. I can feel my heart beating faster. I wait for all the fans to be out, and approach a security guard who is next to a door with a paper saying STAFF ONLY. I show him my ticket but he crosses his arms in front of his chest and ignores me. I furrow my brows in confusion.

"I need to see Harry, he knows me," I say, my voice breaking a little. Now is not the time to look like a crazy fangirl or he'll never let me in.

The man scoffs " Right and I'm his brother, I'm not letting you in, just go." He pushes me gently out of his way.

"Call him and he'll tell you he knows me! I'm not lying." I plead.

That's when I see Harry walking behind him. I get on my tiptoes to see behind the tall guy and scream to make him hear me. "Harry!" He looks around him until he spots me. He walks over to us and asks the security guard to let us pass. I look at security with a victorious smile and contain myself not to show him the finger.

"Violet! It's nice to see you. Did you enjoy the show?" He asks.

"Yes, it was amazing! Love the suit." I point at his suit and wink. Why did I wink? I'm so stupid. I shake my head.

I clear my throat and look at Millie who was dying for me to present her. "This is Millie, my best friend."

"Nice to meet you." He replies with a big smile.

"Nice to meet you too! The show was great I loved it, thanks again for the tickets," Her cheeks are red from how much she danced, her forehead is also sweaty. She had fun.

"No problem! I'm glad you enjoyed it." 

Now is the time. I glance over at Millie who is mesmerized to be backstage. I decide to take this chance to talk to Harry.

"Can I talk to you in private for a second ?" I ask quietly.

"Yes sure, won't your friend be mad if we leave her though?" He replies laughing. 

"Don't worry about her, she'll be fine if she's alone for a second," I tell him with a smile, knowing that Millie is listening to us.

We walk to a door where Harry's name is taped on. When I enter the first thing I notice is the big grey couch that looks extremely comfortable and all the colored flowers. I sit on the edge of the couch and take a deep breath. Harry seems worried as he sits next to me.

"So... I lied. I remember 7 weeks ago when we met in the club."

He smiles, he seems happy that I remember. All I am hoping for is that his smile won't fade after what I'll tell him.

"You remember how we.. you know .. we slept together?"

He nods, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, I... I'm pregnant."

His smile fades just like I hoped it wouldn't.

"I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel pressured. You can be involved if you want to, I'm not looking for money if that's what you think. It's just that I thought that it'll be better for my- well our baby to have a fatherly figure. And I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow if you want to come, I'll text you the address."

That's it, the bomb was dropped. He knew. I wait a minute to react but he doesn't say anything. He's frozen, his eyes glued to the magazine in front of him. I grab my coat and my purse and I put my hand on his shoulder before I reach for the door handle. "I'm sorry," I say before I exit the room.

I find Millie leaning on the wall in front of the room. I know that she listened to the whole conversation through the door. My eyes start watering but I don't want to look weak here. I hold them until we get in the car, there I cry.

****

Millie doesn't mention anything of my conversation with Harry during the whole ride back home. There is no music in the car but the silence is comfortable. When we get home, I do as planned, I text him the address and the time of the appointment.

to: harry
hey, the appointment is at the Thomas' Hospital at 9:30 a.m. have a good night Harry.
seen

I close my phone and take my laptop. I start an episode of friends to try to cheer me up but it doesn't seem to work. The image of Harry's face is stuck in my head. He seemed so unhappy, so disappointed... I've ruined his night, perhaps even his career if he wants to be involved. From now on his life will never be the same. Whether he wants to be involved or not, he'll always know that he has a child out there and might feel bad for not raising them. Tears continue to soak my pillow as I slowly drift off to sleep.