Trauma vs Love

Chapter 12

Faeths Perspective

What happened last night? My eyes are barely open and my head is pounding erratically. It feels like someone hit me with their car. Lifting my head up, the pain became worse only this time it felt like someone stabbed me in the head with a knife. My nipples harden instantly in response to the cold breeze. I look down only to see my bare chest. What the fuck. Questions begin to ponder in my mind making me worry. Did me and Hendrix have sex? It didn't feel like something happened. My bottom half is still on but my top half is gone. Trying to ignore the pounding inside my head, I attempt to remember what me and Hendrix did last night. We drank together and laughed but nothing afterwards. Speaking of the guy, I barely noticed him peacefully sleeping beside me. He's snoring but not unbearably loud more in a peaceful way. It's kind of cute knowing he has flaws just like everyone else.  Then again, it's not really a flaw knowing everything this man does is stupidly perfect.

His lids start to flutter open revealing his icy cold eyes. Looking away so our eyes do not meet, He seemed to be doing exactly as I did only his head pain seemed to not bother him. Not a single flinch of pain or hesitation. He must be a supernatural creature because we both drank the same amount of alcohol and ate weed filled edibles yet he's acting like we just woke up from a normal nap. My eyes shift view to see his reaction. His hand rests on his forehead before turning to look at me. "Good morning." What the fuck. Is this just a normal day to him? why is he not hungover? I shoot him a glare hoping he would feel at least the slightest intimidated. Of course it didn't work but it was worth a try. He probably wants me to respond back with something sappy but knows my response will be snarky. I scoff and cover my chest with the blanket. "We didn't have sex last night." he says before disappearing into the other room quickly. The sense of relief cleanses my anxious thoughts like a wave of water. His response doesn't explain why we are both shirtless. We could have done anything. Hendrix returns with a scrunched up shirt in his hand. He hands it to me and walks to a different room. 

Putting on the shirt, I realise it's System Of A Down merch which enlightened me. This man has good music taste. Why is everything he does and is interested in so perfect? Immediately I picked up my shirt and folded it then picked up his shirt and folded it along with mine. His apartment isn't messy but after everything he does for me, I should return the favour sooner or later. An aroma filled the air instantly intriguing me. It was actually two different smells that filled the room. One was the strong scent of tobacco and the other was the soft smell of freshly toasted bread. Hendrix came out the kitchen with two plates in each of his hands and placed them both down. "Did you smoke a cigarette?" He took a bite of his toast and replied with "Yeah I definitely need one before telling you about what we did last night." If he doesn't tell me what the fuck happened, I might lose my shit. If we didn't have sex, what did we do? Biting into the toast on the plate placed in front of me, my body prepared for whatever he might say. "Tell me what we did." Annoyance began to grow the more he avoided answering my question. Somehow he remembers but I don't? What kind of fucked up logic is this?

Hendrix sighs while placing his slice of toast back on the plate. "We made out and you left a few marks on my neck." He points to the love bites resting on his skin. My eyes shot open like a gun firing. For some reason, knowing we made out pisses me off more. "You can be mad at me all you want. But don't forget that I did stop you from trying to take it further because believe it or not, my selfish ass does care about you." My lips become chapped the more my teeth tore the skin. He does have a point. Us getting drunk was my idea and choice so it shouldn't be a surprise that we did such things together. "Listen I'm sorry for being such a bitch all the time. The truth is you are very different to other guys I've met and it is confusing and may take me a while to get used to it." Honestly, other than his smartass replies and his annoying attributes, Hendrix isn't really a terrible guy. "Also you let me touch your tits" a smirk appears on his face as my elbow drives into him. "You just had to ruin the heartfelt moment with your perverted words." He smiled while grabbing his guitar that was resting on its stand near the couch. 

Somehow, we didn't knock it over while being drunk. Hendrix turned his focus to the instrument and began strumming the strings. It was so mesmerizing to watch guitarists play especially him. He makes it look so easy and effortless. I tried playing guitar once a while ago in school and it went terribly. The different chords to learn and the pain of constantly using your fingers to play put me off completely. Yet he makes it look so simple. His strong, veiny hands and long fingers make me feel so desperate for him. My eyes managed to become comfortable watching his every move until he met my gaze and began smirking. My cheeks filled with red as the sexual tension between us began to build. Embarrassment took over causing me to look away. I clear my throat and try to change the atmosphere. "So how long have you been playing guitar for?" Hendrix stroked the neck of the instrument gently. God those hands could destroy me. "For a while now, been playing since I was 12 but only started performing at 18." He's very talented and must have a strong compassion for music.  

"This is probably going to kill the happy mood but do me a favour and just forget everything about last night." my hands wrapped around my stomach trying to erase the deep feelings trying to escape. No romance between us. We are just friends. "I cannot forget about what happened but I can promise to not bring it up again." he gently placed the guitar back on the stand and rested back. Maybe he would let me sit in between his legs and give him the pleasure he needs. That's only an idea which would never come to life. We are just friends. Nothing will come between us. Even if he begs me on stage or in front of an audience for a chance he will be refused. "Are you mad at me?" He sits back up fixing his posture and gives a small smile while looking the opposite direction. "You could never make me feel angry." Fuck why does he have to be so romantic? He makes it difficult to avoid wanting to get with him. 

 "Well thank you for the food but it's time for me to go." He watched as I slowly walked to the door and hesitate to open it. I wanted to see how he would react to me randomly leaving him alone. Would he grab my hand and make me stay? He doesn't give a reaction and instead, stays relaxed. "Why aren't you trying to stop me from going?" my hand gripped against the door knob but refused to twist it. "Well if you wanna go it's your choice." For some reason, something inside of me made it harder to leave the apartment. It felt like there was something that needed to be done, something that's been forgotten. Fighting all my urges, I Stumble back to my apartment that is conveniently next door to his. I couldn't stop thinking about him. The way he plays guitar, his stupid face, the tattoos. The more we spend time together the closer we get. So maybe I should make other friends.