After the Sun Sets (18+)

CHAPTER 23a - Gospel pt.2

Owen stared at Lora for a long time. She knew he was scrutinizing her every breath, every heartbeat, to examine what she was feeling. To see if there was anything more behind her words. And sure enough, when she lifted her eyes to his, she knew she couldn't lie. She couldn't even hide the truth a little bit.

"We don't fight as much, Jona and I. He kept his word and never mentioned what happened. He's still stubborn, of course, and never listens to a word we tell him. It drives Karl mad, but I'm used to it." Then, for some reason, Lora felt the need to confess something else to him. "We sleep in the same bed. Sometimes we're... uh... intimate."

Owen went very still at this. His hands flexed into fists again and this time, they did not relax. Lora looked away. She shouldn't feel guilty. She didn't even have to tell him and yet... Her fingers ached to touch him. Her arms ached to wrap themselves around him. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes. It was just like the day she told him they couldn't see each other anymore. Horrible and painful and it sucked ass.

"I'm sorry, Owen. I am... I... If only we-"

"Damn it, Lora!" he interrupted, his emotions finally breaking through, making Lora close her mouth suddenly and take a step back. "Do you want to know what I hate the most? It's that even though I don't get it, I accepted it. I accepted that you chose him over me-"

"I didn't!" Lora protested but Owen kept going.

"Fine, your marriage then! Your faith, your punishment, call it whatever you like. I lost you. I let you walk away and, you know what? That's fine. Because you wanted it. You wanted it to be this way and I'll do just about anything for you. But whenever I think that this might be it, it might be our forever, it terrifies me! I might never get to hold you again. I might never get the chance to love you before I die or before you die or before the whole world fucking ends. Sorry," he apologised quickly for his profanity, knowing just how offensive she found it. "I'm not ready to let go. I get that we can't be together like we want to be. But you have to know that you are mine and I am yours, and even if we don't get the 'happy ever after,' I need an 'ever after' with you. In the end... I need to end with you."

Tears were overflowing from the rims of her eyes now. She sniffed loudly and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "Don't. Owen, the only reason I'm making it through all this, is you! I promised you I'd try to be happy."

Owen took a breath and then another, trying to calm himself down. "Are you?"

She didn't even think about it. "No. But I'm trying..."

His face softened, not with relief but with sadness. "Are your sunsets peaceful?"

Lora almost broke into sobs at the mention of their conversation all those months ago. "Every sunset, every moment that matters, all I can think about is you," she whispered. "I am yours." Her voice, her face, everything about her was full of guilt. Full of helplessness. Full of restraint.

But Owen felt none of those things. All he felt was the rekindling of a fire that burnt only for her. Her smile, her laughter, her happiness. All he felt was the need to make her whole again. The need for him to be whole again, even if just for a little while.

Without thinking about where they were, who they were, he pulled her to him until his mouth crashed onto hers. She leaned into him as he held her tightly. She kissed him back without thinking, feeling the colour return to her life as he breathed the life back into her. Her hands traced up his arms and into his hair and his moved up and down her back, holding her firmly in place lest she dared take a step back.

Heat pooled in her core. Her heart pounded with vigour. Hot blood coursed through her veins and oh, dear Lord, happiness! It rushed to her brain making her light-headed. Delirious. That was the word she was looking for.